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[0:00] Ephesians chapter 1, would you turn there please? Ephesians chapter 1. And we will be reading verses 1 through 3.

[0:13] Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, to the saints who are at Ephesus and who are faithful in Christ Jesus. Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

[0:30] Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.

[0:44] Question. What are those blessings? What does it mean he has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places in Christ?

[0:56] I believe those blessings are assets. They certainly are not liabilities. They are assets.

[1:08] They are benefits that have been made available to us and to every believer simply by being in Christ. They constitute powers for living and being that are not affordable to the world at large.

[1:27] This is one of the many benefits that are involved in being in Christ. And these assets are part of the overall redemptive work accomplished through the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.

[1:41] I call these assets the DOA. Divine operating assets.

[1:54] Now, DOA in a lot of cultures means dead on arrival. But that's not what we're talking about here. We are talking about that which has been provided as a benefit or an operating asset available to all believers.

[2:09] And for our study purposes in this series, we are going to focus upon the relational dynamics richly afforded to all believers but drastically under-implemented.

[2:24] Bottom line is this. There are a whole lot of believers living a much, much unhappier life than they need to be living.

[2:35] And it is simply because they are unaware, or if they are aware, they are uncooperative in implementing the assets that God has made available to them through the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.

[2:50] Because when Christ said he came that man might have life and have it more abundantly, I believe he really meant that across the board. For some people, being in Christ means little or nothing more than the assurance of a home in heaven when they die.

[3:09] Well, that's all well and good, and that is by far the most important thing because it has eternal consequences. However, there is so much that is provided for us for the here and now that is not drawn upon or implemented by believers, and it results in living less than an abundant life.

[3:31] And sometimes it involves living a terribly unhappy one when that just need not be the case. Why? Why is there all the conflict in the world?

[3:44] Well, we know it's a fallen world, and we know that this is not the world that God intended, and this is the way that man, through the introduction of sin to the universe, has provided us with what we see about us today that we call reality.

[4:02] Then why all the conflict in the Christian world? If anybody ought to have it together, and there ought to be peace, tranquility, and love, and acceptance, and all of that good stuff that is supposed to be part and parcel of the Christian life, why is it so lacking?

[4:23] Why aren't assemblies of believers just brimming over with love? And we often know this is not the case. You look at the rate of marital unhappiness and the divorces that are filed for, and Christians don't fare much better than the world, and we are puzzled by that.

[4:47] I mean, Christians are supposed to be people who, relatively speaking, aren't perfect, but by the rest of the world's standards pretty much have life together, and yet that does not seem to be the case.

[4:59] What's wrong? And my contention is this. The spiritual assets or the dynamics that God has provided for us through the redemptive work of Christ are either unknown or simply not implemented by believers.

[5:16] And that's what we intend to correct, at least insofar as our little fellowship is concerned. Now, this material is not going to be new to all of you, but it will be new to some of you, and for those of you who are familiar with it, why?

[5:31] The repetition will not hurt a thing. Conflicts occur when relationships go awry.

[5:42] Why do relationships go awry? I know we all have a sinful nature, and it just comes natural to us.

[5:55] But we also have a new nature. And the assets that are made available to us for the abundant life are those which are implemented only by the new nature.

[6:08] You may be sure they will not be implemented by the old nature. Relationships constitute the coin of the realm of heaven and earth.

[6:19] Everything rises and falls on the quality of our relationships or those of our loved ones. God values relationships so greatly that he tapped into the very triune nature of his own person by sending his son to our earth for the sole purpose of repairing a broken relationship.

[6:49] That between himself as creator and man the creature, this realization gives relationships true value and perspective.

[7:04] Relationships broken constitute the greatest pain that we can know.

[7:14] Relationships broken through death, divorce, estrangement, produces an exquisite kind of pain for the human heart that nothing else can match.

[7:36] We have a capability of hurting more as a result of broken or deficient relationships than anything else.

[7:49] This is why death is so dreaded, because it signals the end of earthly relationships. But do you know, even in that, we must remember, even though there is pain between us as humans when we give up a loved one, for those who are in Christ, the relationship of the departed is not diminished, but even gloriously increased.

[8:22] Remember the two words of Paul? Far better. The departed one in Christ is at home in and with the Savior.

[8:34] And to just give us a little bit of a perspective on that, I came across this poem that I want to share with you, taken from a book called Where Are the Dead?

[8:50] Etched in stone on the walls of the Allegheny Observatory, are these words, We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

[9:04] This message on the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania crypt is from a poem by Sally Williams entitled, The Old Astronomer. It firmly fixes the attitude of the believer toward death.

[9:16] We who know Christ have indeed learned to love him and his creation far too much to ever be afraid. Without question, one of the most powerful things about believing in Christ is release from the overwhelming fear of death.

[9:33] And the more we grow in Christ, the more we see death as a doorway to a higher and happier form of life, rather than the terminal point of human existence.

[9:45] Many years ago, black poet James Weldon Johnson captured the believer's view of our final hour in his dramatic poem, Go Down, Death.

[9:58] In this masterpiece, the black pastor is preaching the funeral sermon for one of his church's godly women. And I have to just inject something here.

[10:10] I have heard a lot of black preaching over the years. And I must say that blacks have a way of expressing some things that penetrate and break through in a way that I've never heard white preachers do.

[10:37] And I don't know how it is or why it is, if it's a cultural thing, a genetic thing, or what. But blacks just have a different way of expressing themselves.

[10:51] And many times, I find something from one of these folks just punching right through to my very soul in a way that I've never had anybody else reach there.

[11:03] And this poem is kind of like this. If you can feature this black pastor preaching this woman's funeral in a little town down south.

[11:16] The preacher says, Weep not. Weep not. She is not dead. She's resting in the bosom of Jesus. Heartbroken husband.

[11:29] Weep no more. Grief stricken son. Weep no more. Left lonesome daughter. Weep no more. Weep no more. She's only just gone home.

[11:41] Day before yesterday morning, God was looking down from his great high heaven, looking down on all his children, and his eye fell on Sister Caroline, tossing on her bed of pain.

[11:59] God's big heart was touched with pity. With the everlasting pity. God sat back on his throne, and he commanded that tall, bright angel standing at his right hand, Call me death.

[12:18] And that tall, bright angel cried in a voice that broke like a clap of thunder. Call death.

[12:31] Call death. And the echo sounded down the streets of heaven, till it reached away back to that shadowy place, where death waits with his pale white horses.

[12:44] And death heard the summons. And he leaped on his fastest horse, pale as a sheet in the moonlight. Up the golden street, death galloped.

[12:57] And the hoofs of his horse struck fire from the gold. But they didn't make no sound. Up death rode to the great white throne, and waited for God's command.

[13:11] And God said, Go down, death. Go down. Go down to Savannah, Georgia. Down in Yamacraw. And find Sister Caroline.

[13:23] She's borne the burden and heat of the day. She's labored long in my vineyard. And she's tired. She's weary. Go down, death.

[13:35] And bring her to me. Death didn't say a word. But he loosed the reins on his pale white horse. And he clamped the spurs to his bloodless sides.

[13:48] And out and down he rode. Through heaven's pearly gates. Past suns and moons and stars. On death rode. And the foam from his horse was like a comet in the sky.

[14:02] On death rode. Leaving the lightning's flash behind. Straight on down he came. And while we were watching around her bed, she turned her eyes and looked away.

[14:16] She saw what we couldn't see. She saw old death. She saw old death coming like a falling star.

[14:27] But death didn't frighten Sister Caroline. He looked to her like a welcome friend. And she whispered to us. I'm going home.

[14:39] And she smiled. And closed her eyes. Death took her up. Like a baby.

[14:50] She lay in his icy arms. But she didn't feel no chill. And death began to ride again. Up beyond the evening star.

[15:03] Out beyond the morning star. Into the glittering light of glory. On to the great white throne. There he laid Sister Caroline.

[15:15] On the loving breast of Jesus. Jesus took his own hand. Wiped away her tears. And he smoothed the furrows from her face.

[15:28] And the angels sang a little song. And Jesus rocked her in his arms. And kept to saying. Take your rest. Take your rest.

[15:41] Take your rest. Weep not. Weep not. She's not dead. She is resting.

[15:52] In the bosom of Jesus. Well. Would you like a copy of that?

[16:05] I thought you would. So Mary made you some. You can pick them up later. Well. How could.

[16:17] How could a poem like that be written? Only because. Of a relationship. Established between Christ and believers.

[16:29] Nurturing. Nurturing. Deepening. Strengthening. Strengthening. And when necessary. Restoring. Relationships. That's what we're going to be talking about.

[16:42] For the next few weeks. And there is one. Particular thing. That you are going to hear. Over and over again. Because it is so critical. It is this thing.

[16:53] It is this thing. That injures. And ruins. Relationships. And there isn't anything else that does it. I want you to think in terms of this being.

[17:07] The. One. Singular. Thing. That is. The culprit. It is this. And this alone.

[17:19] Which is. Always. And I think I can use that word. Always. Always. That is. Always. Involved. Anytime. And every time. A relationship. Goes awry.

[17:30] I am not just talking about marriages. Although. There is. A peculiar. Connection. To marriages. Because. The marriage relationship. Is.

[17:41] Closer. Than any other kind of relationship. But. This also. Very. Thoroughly. Involves.

[17:52] Family. Relationships. Siblings. Neighbors. People in the workforce. In the workplace. Anyone. Anyone. With whom. You have a connection.

[18:02] Anyone. With whom. You have a relationship. If that relationship. Is ever. In trouble. Or comes to an end. And you decide to part company. Or whatever. People aren't on speaking terms.

[18:14] Or there is an iciness. And an estrangement. And a. Moving away. It is always. And only. Because. Of this.

[18:25] One. Thing. And I think. We can safely. Say that. Because. It is just. So. Comprehensive. That it incorporates. Everything. And it is this.

[18:42] Offenses. Offenses. These. Offenses. Are the things.

[18:53] That ruin lives. Offenses. Consist of. Things. That we say. To one another. And things.

[19:05] That we do. To one another. That constitutes. An offense. Now. Apart from the things. We say. To one another.

[19:15] And the things. We do. To one another. What else. Can you think of. That. Involves. The connection. That we have. With one another.

[19:26] Other than. What we say. And what we do. There isn't anything. Is there? Isn't life. And relationships. With other people.

[19:36] On whatever level. Isn't it always. Made up with. Conversing with them. And acting. With them. Or upon them. What more. Can we do.

[19:46] Other than. Say something. Or do something. How can you get. Any more inclusive. Than that. What. What's left. What's outside. Of saying. And doing. Nothing. I know of. Everything.

[19:57] Is wrapped up. In that. And it is. The saying. And the doing. In a negative way. That constitutes. An offense. What are some.

[20:08] Synonyms. For an offense. You help me out. Here. If you will. And enumerate. Some. What can you think of. Other than an offense.

[20:19] And we'll just see. If we can put a little bit more. Of a handle on this. When someone is. Offended. And by the way. I hadn't thought of it. Along this vein.

[20:30] And that's not why. I'm bringing this study. But we have probably. Never lived in a time. In our culture. When so many people. Are offended. By so many things. You know.

[20:41] Everybody is offended. About something. And. And. It just. Seems to be. Kind of epidemic. It's the big thing now. For people to be. Offended. About things. So.

[20:51] What can you think of. As a synonym. To help us. Get a little clearer picture. Of exactly. What we're talking about. Within the fence. Call out something. That you would. See as an offense.

[21:02] How would you. How else. Would you describe it. Anyone. Anyone. Don't all speak at once. Hurt.

[21:19] Hurt feelings. Okay. What else. Synonym for an offense. Misunderstand.

[21:31] Okay. Misunderstanding. Now. A misunderstanding. Just by the very nature of it.

[21:43] Is unintentional. On somebody's part. A misunderstanding. Occurs. When somebody. Takes something. In a way. That somebody. Who said it.

[21:53] Did not mean. That. So. That's a kind of offense. We'll be talking about later. That's an unintentional. Offense. It can still hurt.

[22:04] Even though. It wasn't intended. What else. Can you think of. Hurt feelings. Misunderstandings. Not listening. Okay.

[22:16] Or. Or. We would call this. How about. Being. Ignored. Okay. When someone. Has something.

[22:26] That they believe. Is. Legitimate. Or. Would be helpful. To a situation. For them. To be just. Dismissed. And just. Treated. As though. It's. It's nothing. You know.

[22:37] That's. That's. An offense. People would take offense. To that. What else? Pardon me? Slander.

[22:48] Okay. Slander. That's offensive. How about this?

[22:58] How about an insult? Or. This is my favorite. Because. I think. This. Describes.

[23:10] An offense. Perhaps. More. Comprehensibly. Than. Anything. Else. And. Here. It is. It's a wound.

[23:22] It's a wound. I want you to think in terms of. The human spirit. That real you.

[23:34] That is inside of you. That is capable. Of great feeling. Great pain. Great hurt. Heart.

[23:46] And the hurt. Is where. You can't. Reach it. If you have an itch. In your body. You can scratch it. But you can't scratch.

[23:57] An itch. In the spirit. Or hurt. In the spirit. You can't get to it. All you can do. Is suffer from it. And. A wound.

[24:10] Is an offense. That has been. Inflicted. Upon you. By the. Offender. They come in. All different sizes.

[24:21] You can think in terms. Of an offense. Being like. A spear. A javelin. Spear. To the heart.

[24:32] A big one. Or you can think of it. As being an arrow. Or you can think of it. As being. A dart. Offenses. Come in different sizes.

[24:44] There are some things. That people say. And do to us. That hurt us. A whole lot more. Than others. Can you think of. A major offense. Anyone.

[24:59] What would you classify. As a major offense. Of all three. Oh. That's the first one.

[25:11] That. A woman. Always thinks of. You know. And. And it's. It's a big one. No question about. You know what.

[25:22] It's. It's the spear size. When that thing comes into the heart. It's. It really. It really.

[25:32] Tears up the spirit. Wounds the spirit. Just. Just. Devastating. And the interesting thing.

[25:45] About these wounds. These offenses. Is. I don't think. That there is. Any way. That it can be removed.

[25:57] Apart from the one. Who put it there. Removing it. You and I. Do not. Have. The ability. To remove. The wounds.

[26:08] That are put there. By other people. The only people. Who can remove them. Are those who put them there. And. We're getting a little ahead of ourselves. Now. Because this is very important. And I'll tell you.

[26:19] This. Often. Doesn't. Happen. And this is why. Relationships. Stay. Unrepaired. And unrestored. Is because. People. Who inflict the wounds.

[26:32] Do not follow through. With what is necessary. To restore the relationship. And the one on the receiving end. Just goes on hurting. And hurting. And hurting.

[26:43] And sometimes. These wounds are added to. By others. And compounded. And. We have a. We have a little. Automatic bookkeeping.

[26:55] Thing. In our spirit. You know. And. We catalog. The wounds. And we store them. And we warehouse them.

[27:08] And every now and then. We go over them again. And get them out. And replay them. And we experience the hurt. All over again. Almost like we did. When it was first put there.

[27:19] And if they. If that wound is. If that. Offense is not removed. By the one who put it there.

[27:30] The wound. The wound. Will never. Heal. I don't care. If you live to be a hundred. It'll never heal. You have any idea. How many people. Are walking around.

[27:41] With all kinds of wounds. In their spirit. All kinds of arrows. And spears. And things. Stuck in their. Spirit. Spirit. And they're just walking around with them.

[27:54] And as long as they're there. There can't be any healing. You see. The offense. Has to be pulled out. And then the healing. Can begin. I'm not saying that.

[28:05] You're stuck there. For the rest of your life. But I'm saying that. There can't be any healing. From the offense. Unless. That projectile. Is pulled out. And just think in terms.

[28:17] If you will. Of. Of. Your body. You get a. A big splinter. Or something. In your finger. And I've had. I don't know how many times.

[28:27] I've. Experienced that. In woodworking. And I know one thing. It hurts. And every time you bump it. Or touch it. As long as that thing is in there. It's very very sensitive. And do you think.

[28:39] That that finger. Is going to heal. With that thing. In there. No. It has got to. Come out. And once it's out. Then the healing.

[28:49] Can begin. And this is one of the reasons. That so many. Personal relationships. Are never restored. Never patched up. Never fixed.

[29:00] Because. The only process. Through which. That can be done. Is either. Not known. Or it's ignored. Lord. And I want to make sure.

[29:12] That you know. What that is. Before we finish this series. Because there is. A precise. Biblical. Methodology. For.

[29:24] Countering. Offenses. That are. Inflicted. Upon us. Or that. We inflict. Upon others. There is. A procedure. Or a. A.

[29:35] A divine. Operating. Asset. That needs. To be. Applied. And I don't know. Of any other way. To do it. I've been looking. At this thing. Of human relationships.

[29:47] In personal counseling. Especially. In marital counseling. For over 40 years. And I have never been able. To find. Anything else. That works.

[29:59] This is the only thing. That does. And I think the answer. Is simple. Because. This. Is the provision. That God. Has made. For restoring. Relationships.

[30:10] And we don't have one. We don't have one. That works. God has provided. One. That does. And what he has provided. Is included. In these divine.

[30:20] Operating assets. That we're going. To be talking about. The spiritual blessings. With which we are blessed. With all. Spiritual blessings. In heavenly places. In Christ. We all know.

[30:30] How to offend. One another. We all know. How to say things. That we shouldn't say. And to do things. That we shouldn't do. That cause a rift. In the relationship. And causes people.

[30:41] To grow apart. And distance themselves. One from another. And it all goes. Back to this. This is the culprit. This is always. At the base of it. And it doesn't make any difference.

[30:53] Who or what you're talking about. You know this same thing applies. For nations. As it does for individuals. You know. The only reason that nations are in conflict.

[31:06] About anything. Is because one nation. Offends. Another nation. Commits an offense. December 7th. December 7th.

[31:17] 1941. We were offended. Big time. September 11th. 2001.

[31:28] We were offended. And what happened? The result was. An estrangement. First thing we did was.

[31:38] With Japan. Break off diplomatic relations. With those suckers. Right now. We are not friends anymore. We called our ambassadors home. They called theirs home. And we got down to the business of war.

[31:52] All because. Of an offense. One nation. Offends another. One person. Offends another. One co-worker.

[32:04] Offends another. A husband. Offends his wife. Vice versa. Parents. Offend children. Children. Offend parents. And the result is always. A damaged.

[32:15] Relationship. Sometimes. It's terminal. Sometimes the relationship. Ends. Permanently. Doesn't have to. Provision is made.

[32:26] To restore. The relationship. No matter. How great the offense. It can be restored. But most often.

[32:38] It is not. Why not? Because these divine operating assets. Are either not known. Or if they are known about.

[32:50] Choose not to implement them. And we will be talking about that. As well. Offenses constitute. A wound. In our human spirit.

[33:02] And offenses. Unresolved. Generate. Resentment. Of course they do. There is something wrong with you.

[33:14] If you are not resentful. When you are offended. Because. Your sensibilities. Perhaps. Your integrity. Your person.

[33:25] Has somehow. Been violated. Or been mistreated. And if you have. An ounce. Of self-respect. You will be offended. And you will resent that.

[33:37] There is something wrong with you. If you don't. It is just part of being a human being. Who recognizes themselves. As being an individual. Who is valuable.

[33:50] Made in the image and likeness of God. You have integrity. And worth. And you are deserving. Of. A certain level of treatment.

[34:01] As a human being. And when that is not forthcoming. You are rightly. Offended. And whoever it was that. That committed that offense.

[34:12] Was in the wrong. And they are the only ones. Who can fix it. You can't fix it. But they can. And very often. That's where the thing. Breaks down.

[34:23] Offenses unresolved. Generate resentment. On the part of the offended. Resentment. Produces. Emotional distancing. The gap.

[34:35] In emotional distancing. Tends to widen. Without resolution. And distancing. Can generate. The dissolving. Of the relationship.

[34:46] We've all seen this happen. You know someone. To whom this has happened. Couples. Who once were close. Enter into the business. Of offending one another.

[34:57] And the growing apart. Begins. And the next thing you know. They are distanced. One from the other. Still married. May even be sleeping.

[35:08] In the same bed. But they are. They are worlds apart. They are not. Where they need to be. Why not? Because.

[35:18] Of unresolved. Offenses. And that is always. The culprit. Questions or comments. We've only got a few minutes left. And I. This is just. Introductory material. Now. But.

[35:29] Anyone. Anyone. Okay. Would you add to this.

[35:41] Anything you want to add to this. By way of synonyms. For an offense. Being ignored. Slander. Insult. Unrest.

[35:52] Hurt. Wound. Hurt feelings. All of these things. Contribute to. Isolating one from the other.

[36:02] Yes. Holly. I kind of think that. An umbrella over the whole thing. Is whenever your character. Is attacked. In some way. Where. Somebody mistrusts you.

[36:13] Or doubts. Your character. That is a deep. Deep thing. And it kind of covers. The whole spectrum of things. It really hurts too. Doesn't it?

[36:24] Sure does. It hurts with a hurt. That you can't. You can't really describe. Yeah. Very definitely. Someone else.

[36:37] It would seem like you're being like. Rejected. Maybe. Rejection. Or maybe. Well. Someone said there's no pain. Like the pain of rejection. And.

[36:50] That's. Right here in this same ballpark. Yeah. Right in that same category. I was in sales. I attest to that. Pardon me? I was in sales.

[37:00] I attest to that. Oh yeah. Someone. Someone told me years ago. If you can't handle rejection. Don't go into sales. And don't go into the ministry.

[37:11] A lot of truth in that too. There's a lot of rejection out there. Pain of rejection is. An exquisite pain.

[37:22] Yes. If your child. If your child. Offends you. Or puts that. Spear in your heart. Mm-hmm. Obviously.

[37:33] They should make the first move. To. Fix that. Mm-hmm. If they don't. Then. Well. Why.

[37:44] Yeah. What. Yeah. Sometimes you do. Sometimes that's your only recourse. But I'll tell you. I'm just going to run through the steps now. Boy. This thing just doesn't erase at all. Like it's supposed to. I don't know what's going on with that white board.

[37:56] It's not what it's cracked up to be. Anyway. There is a. There is a formula involved. And I have gone over this thing backwards and forwards over the years.

[38:07] And I've tried to see what can be eliminated. What can be added to it. How can it be simplified? Can it be reduced? Is this an exaggeration? Am I oversimplifying it?

[38:18] Or am I making it too complex? And I have been over this thing backwards and forwards. And I am satisfied that. But this is pretty much the way it is.

[38:29] It starts with the offense. And we're talking about restoring the relationship now that is injured. And the first thing that has to happen. And I made this point.

[38:40] That the only one who can really remove the offense is the one who put it there. So the first thing that has to happen. Is that the offender.

[38:52] The one who put the offense there. Has to have information. And you've heard me talk a lot about information.

[39:03] But it is a very, very important concept. And here's what I mean by information. In order for this one to even take the first step toward rectifying an offense that he has committed.

[39:18] Something that he said or did. He has to process data that involves the offense. He has to do a certain amount of thinking about this.

[39:33] And just try to visualize if you can. What's taking place in the mind of someone who wronged another person. And they know.

[39:45] They sense that this person has been offended. And that they are cool. And aloof to them. And they begin asking themselves questions like. Boy, they seem to be really ticked.

[39:58] You know. They must have really took offense at what I said yesterday. And what are they doing? They are processing data involved with that incident. And they are providing within themselves information.

[40:13] That they are mulling over. Thinking about. They relive the situation. What they said. What the reaction was to it and everything. And they are compiling this.

[40:24] And playing it back over and over in their mind. This is self-generated information. Within the mind of the offender. Now some people are what we would call really insensitive clods.

[40:41] They wouldn't give us a time of day. They are not going to spend the mental or emotional energy thinking about that at all. So you were hurt a little bit by it.

[40:54] Deal with it. You know. That's their attitude. And what happens is. The relationship remains. Injured. The aloofness is there.

[41:06] And this person whom they hurt. Just kind of crawls away and licks their wounds. You know. Information comes from two sources. Internal and external.

[41:18] Sometimes the offender will begin processing the information. And relive the incident. Not because they really regret or are sorry.

[41:30] Or are repentant for what they said or did. But just because. They don't like sleeping on the couch. Now here's a real problem.

[41:45] This is an attitude problem. Because. Because. The repentance that is necessary. Is not going to be genuine. Unless this person.

[41:58] Has really changed their mind. About what they said or did. Because if they haven't really changed their mind. Then.

[42:09] Their repentance. Is going to be. Phony. It will not be genuine. See what I'm saying. They are sorry.

[42:20] Only for the consequences. They are not sorry for what they did. And there is a huge difference. So the first thing they have to do. Is process this information.

[42:31] Now if the information doesn't come. Internally. Guess where else it comes from. Externally. And who might that be. The one you offended.

[42:44] Especially if they get their back up. And they say. What you said to me yesterday. Was terrible. And was not fair. And it was not true. And I really resent it.

[42:56] And you better get your act together. Buster. Or I'm. You know. That is external information. And they are going to process that. They are going to think about that.

[43:08] Call it a threat. If you will. Call it a promise. Call it a warning. Call it whatever. But it is like a wake up call to them. And they start. With the information process.

[43:21] They start thinking about it. And then. They are going to reach a conclusion. And here. Is. The crisis. This is where. Right here.

[43:31] Right after information. This thing can go either way. It can go positive. Or it can go negative. And let me tell you something. Right here.

[43:43] Is where. Most relationships. That never get restored. Break down. Right here. This is the critical point. This is the toughest thing.

[43:54] About relationships. More than anything else. I don't care if you are talking about marriage. If you are talking about kids on the playground. Or people with whom you work. This is the sticking point.

[44:07] And if you can't get past this. And many do not. And this is why relationships stay injured. Never do get fixed. Never do get fixed. It is because.

[44:19] Of the breakdown. Right here. This is this next point. And. We haven't time to go into it now. Because. Our time is up. But. We will pick up here next week.

[44:30] And I hope you will keep this in mind. Especially this plus and minus. Because as a result. Of the individual processing the information. Regardless of whether they. They conjured it up within themselves.

[44:41] And they are thinking about it. Or whether it has come from the complete. Or the one that they offended. Letting them know about it. And giving them what for about it. That's information. They are processing it.

[44:52] Now. The question is. What are they going to do. With that information. This is the crossroads. And here is where a relationship. Will make it.

[45:03] Or break it. When it comes to restoration. Okay. Let's have a word of prayer. Father. We are so grateful. For all that the scriptures have to say. About relationships.

[45:14] We see it in the beginning. In Genesis chapter 1 and 2. And we see it all the way through. Into the revelation. We are now living. Somewhere between that. And we all know.

[45:26] How beautiful. And wonderful. And satisfying. Relationships can be. And we also know. That they can be very painful.

[45:37] And very hurtful. And you have provided. Everything that is needed. If we will. But avail ourselves of it. To enjoy. Rich.

[45:48] Loving. Full. Deep. Growing. Relationships. That's. Why Jesus died. On that cross. And we don't want.

[45:59] Any of that. Going to waste. Because of our neglect. We want to be eager. To implement all that you've provided. And honor you in doing so.

[46:12] Christ's wonderful name. Amen. Amen. Thank you. There we are. There we are. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

[46:32]  Amen. Amen. Amen.