Wisdom from Proverbs 31

[0:00] Proverbs. We are going to finish up Proverbs today. You know, there's 31 Proverbs, 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs.

[0:12] ! And when I decided to go through Proverbs, I thought,! Man, I don't really want to spend 31 weeks in Proverbs. You know, as we've been going through, you'll notice that there's a lot of repetition, which is good, right, for learning anything. Repetition is important.

[0:24] But I thought that might be overboard. So we've kind of picked a few chapters. I'm not sure how many weeks we've done, maybe eight weeks or so, but decided, okay, let's just wrap this up, and we'll do it with Proverbs 31.

[0:40] So Proverbs 31, what's the subject matter? Unlike some of the other chapters we've looked at that are just a mixture of all kinds of different topics, we have two main topics. So really, there's a big theme here, and it has to do, there's a focus on women.

[0:54] Again, the first section is wisdom from a mother, maternal wisdom. A lot of the Proverbs is wisdom from Solomon, and many of it he's speaking to his son.

[1:06] So it's paternal wisdom, wisdom from a father. This is specifically wisdom from a mother to her son, a king. But also in here is wisdom to women.

[1:19] So in the last half of this chapter is specifically Proverbs or wisdom for women, and specifically wives.

[1:31] So today, Proverbs 31 is kind of famous for the Proverbs 31 woman, right? And so today I have the opportunity to make all the wives in the house feel like losers because they're not making their own clothes and buying land and all those kinds of things.

[1:53] No, I know sometimes what we'll look at today, there's a lot of things in there that the Proverbs 31 woman ought to be doing, and it can be, it can look overwhelming.

[2:08] But we'll try to look at it, especially from a grace perspective. But the first section here is wisdom for a king.

[2:19] And here's verse 1, Proverbs 31. The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him. So the first question was, who is this guy?

[2:29] Who's King Lemuel, and who is his mother? We don't know the mother's name. We just know the name of the king. Now, this name is not found anywhere else in the Bible. And so we don't really have much of an idea, at least from the Bible, as to who this guy was.

[2:44] It doesn't seem like this is one of the kings of Israel, either the northern kingdom or the southern kingdom after they split. The name means belonging to God.

[2:57] That's what Lemuel means. Some have thought that maybe this is just a poetic or even like a pen name of Solomon.

[3:09] Solomon wrote most of these Proverbs. He's the author of Proverbs. And so maybe we actually see this in our own culture.

[3:20] Mark Twain is not actually, what was his name? Samuel Clemens? Am I getting that right? But he went by Mark Twain for whatever reason. Maybe it just rolls off the tongue easier.

[3:34] But then we also see in the book of Acts, right? The book of Acts and Luke is written, and I'm trying to remember this. This is something I wasn't planning to talk about this. But it was written to, somebody help me.

[3:46] Who was it written to? Theophilus. Thank you. And that just means, what does it mean? Oh boy, I can't remember.

[3:56] I see, I shouldn't have brought it up. Friend of God? Okay, see, I just, I've got lots of help in the crowd here. Friend of God. And so some have, nobody, that name is not used anywhere else.

[4:09] And so some have surmised that it's just a book written to all the friends of God. And it uses a proper name. It's just a poetic way to do that.

[4:19] And that might be the case here. And so if this is talking about Solomon, then who was Solomon's mother? Anybody know? Bathsheba. Bathsheba.

[4:29] So this could be the wisdom of Bathsheba to her son Solomon. But this is maternal wisdom. Like I said, most of Proverbs is, or a lot of Proverbs is written from a father to a son.

[4:43] And, you know, I think we need to keep in mind both mothers and fathers, both, right, have a duty to pass on their wisdom to their children. So let's continue on.

[4:55] Verse 2. What my son and what son of my womb and what son of my vows. This mother is kind of expressing the tenderness and the love that she has for her own son.

[5:09] The son of her womb. This is a baby that she carried. She brought into the world. What does it mean, son of my vows? She could be talking about her marital vows, right? This is the son that came from her marriage to her husband.

[5:23] Or it could be, you know, sometimes we see women giving vows, telling the Lord that, you know, they're looking to bear children and that they will honor the Lord with their offspring.

[5:37] We see that with Hannah, for example, in the Old Testament. Either way, these are words of tenderness regarding a mother or a mother regarding her son.

[5:50] Verse 3. Do not give. So here's where the wisdom starts. Verse 3. Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

[6:03] And here she's talking about the wayward woman, as we've looked at before. This is one of the things that is a constant refrain, especially early on in Proverbs, but even throughout.

[6:21] And a wayward woman, a sinful woman, as is also translated, can be destructive to any man. But especially susceptible are those in power.

[6:38] Those who have the power of a king. They are special targets of a seductress. She says quite a great prize, right, for a seductress, if she can seduce a king.

[6:54] Not a good prize. Not a virtuous prize. But a prize, nonetheless, for a woman of seduction. She says here, do not give your strength to women.

[7:07] You know, men especially are known for their strength. And here I think strength means your energy, your vigor, the vitality of your life. You can give your life over, the energy in your life over to sinful things.

[7:23] And that takes away from the energy that you give towards virtue. And so, what are you going to use your energy, your strength for?

[7:34] Will you use that energy for vice or for virtue? She continues on, it is not for kings, in verse 4, I don't think that necessarily she's saying that kings can never have a drink, but this is a warning against what too much drinking can lead to.

[8:09] Intoxication, drunkenness, losing the sharpness of your faculties. Drunkenness can be destructive for anyone who drinks too much, for any man.

[8:26] But for most of us, the destruction of that drunkenness stops at our small sphere of influence. But when you are a leader over many people, then that destruction has a greater wake.

[8:46] And when it is your responsibility to establish justice in your sphere of influence, then that law, justice, can be perverted when one loses the sharpness of his faculties.

[9:00] She continues on, Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

[9:15] This is kind of, I think, a tongue-in-cheek saying. You know, strong drink isn't for those full of vitality and life, but it's for the dying, and, you know, today even.

[9:29] For those who are close to death, a lot of times we will use drugs to just take away the edge off of the death pangs, of the pain they might be experiencing, whether it's cancer or something like that.

[9:43] And usually, I think we use morphine or some other strong drug. Those things have only been around for a short while. But for the dying, they might, you know, drink some vodka or whatever to take the edge off of the pain.

[9:57] And she's saying, listen, this isn't something for a young man of vitality. This is something that only those who are dying, or maybe those who just have given up on life, that's what getting drunk is for.

[10:12] Don't be that person. She continues on, kind of in another vein here, verse 8. Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.

[10:26] Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy. Again, what is the number one responsibility of a king, of a ruler?

[10:36] To establish justice in the land. And is it justice for those who can pay for it? But, you know, that's the way that it is in most of the rest of the world. And I've been, I've counted at one point, but I've been to at least 20 different countries in my life as being a military brat and also a missionary.

[11:00] And it's amazing to see what we have here as far as justice. And I know there's a lot of perversion of justice in our country. But it really pales in comparison to what you see in many other countries.

[11:11] I remember living in Cambodia, the country of Cambodia. And just watching out in the broad open daylight, people handing cash to police officers.

[11:24] And so in order to get justice in that nation, you had to have the money to buy it. And God forbid that it should be that way in our country, though we do see that.

[11:38] But at least thankfully in this country, it is expected, right, that justice should be for all regardless of rich or poor. But the poor especially are, can be and are exploited.

[11:56] And sometimes justice for the poor is overlooked. And so there is special attention that this mother is calling to her son, the king, to pay, to pay that special attention to those who are poor and needy.

[12:11] She mentions, open your mouth for the speechless. And I think in this context, she's talking about those who don't have a voice in the world, right? When you don't have a lot of money or resources, you just don't have the same voice as others to cry out about injustice.

[12:27] Nobody's listening. Nobody listens to a poor man. And so she said, you need to be the voice. You need to be the advocate for that one.

[12:38] This is a verse that is commonly used in the pro-life movement, right? Because when it comes to unborn children, they literally do not have a voice.

[12:51] They cannot speak. They cannot talk. And they are literally being appointed to death. They're moms and dads who are making appointments for their children to be destroyed.

[13:09] And so a good king, a good ruler, will advocate and do whatever he can. You know, when you're a king, you have lots of power, basically unlimited power, at least in this day that this was written, in general.

[13:29] In our day, you know, we have different jurisdictions and only a certain amount of authority depending on what position you hold. But do what you can to advocate for those who are being led to death, those who are appointed to die.

[13:46] You know, I'll just bring this up real quickly. I had a chance to meet just this last Friday with the representative representing here in Springfield in Ohio about this very issue.

[14:03] You know, in 2023, the voters of Ohio, the people, unfortunately, voted to put into our Ohio State Constitution the right to destroy the lives of unborn children.

[14:17] Does that mean that we should give up? Not at all. And so currently, there is in the work a bill to be offered to the Ohio legislature to try to defend and uphold the right to life of unborn children.

[14:40] You might ask, well, how in the world is that possible? We just amended our Constitution. Well, and we'll talk about this maybe more in the future.

[14:51] I won't spend too much time on it now. But there's the bill, and there's 13 of those, 13 of these in 13 different states active right now. And appealing to our Constitution, you know, the Constitution is the highest law of the land.

[15:06] And it says there's an amendment for those who know their civics, the 14th Amendment, that says that no state is allowed to abridge the rights of people.

[15:19] There has to be equal protection under the law. That's the language used. Everyone, if you have a law, it has to apply to everybody equally. This was put into place because of the disparity regarding slavery and all that.

[15:33] But currently, we protect the lives of born people and don't protect the lives of unborn children. And that should not be the case. And we actually have an amendment, something in our Constitution, that says that that should not be allowed.

[15:48] And so here's a bill that's going to be offered that says, hey, we appeal to a higher authority, our federal Constitution, and the state of Ohio must obey that law.

[16:03] So more to come on that in the future. Okay, we're finished with that section, and now we're going to go into the section here on the virtuous wife.

[16:16] Verse 10, Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. You know, it's a challenge to find a wife. It's a challenge today.

[16:28] It's been a challenge for probably all of human history, I imagine. You know, it's not an easy task. Now, finding a woman is easy, right? You bump into them every day.

[16:42] They're everywhere you go. And it's not even difficult to find a pretty girl, right? There's lots of pretty girls out there. But a woman of real virtue, that can be a real challenge.

[16:57] And it requires careful, studious searching. Not just grasping on to the first pretty girl that you find, but actually taking care to evaluate, is she a woman of true character?

[17:17] What's on the inside, not just what's on the outside? You know, the number one way I can think of to attract a woman of virtue is to be a man of virtue.

[17:30] The number one way. And so if you want a woman of virtue, the number one thing you can do is focus on yourself. Am I the kind of man that a woman of virtue would want to be married to?

[17:41] And it works the other way around, right? If you're a woman looking for a man, become a woman of virtue and a man of virtue will eventually find you.

[17:54] As we go through, we're going to see a list of things here, a list of virtues. And we'll kind of call out the categories as we read through the rest of these passages.

[18:06] But there's an assumption in this passage that I want to speak to. And that's this. That a wife is a helper to her husband.

[18:18] That is the primary role of a wife. And now that idea is controversial today. It shouldn't be. But it is.

[18:29] But all the way going back to Genesis, right? God created a man. And he created him to build and to take dominion over the earth. And then he saw that he needed a companion.

[18:43] And so he designed a woman to be his helper. The King James calls it a help meet. A help meet just means suitable. So he created a suitable helper for the man.

[18:57] And so this is the role, the perspective, the big picture. When it comes to being a virtuous wife, your role is to be a helper to your husband.

[19:11] And the things that you do, the virtue is going to be focused in on that. You know, some people don't like that. They don't think that a woman should be the helper of a man.

[19:22] That's chauvinist or whatever they might call it. But you know what happens when you resist how God created things? You kind of just end up being miserable.

[19:34] And your life ends up being somewhat broken and fractured. But when we submit to God's design, how God designed for the world to be, we can experience relative peace and satisfaction in our life.

[19:48] But, of course, wives are not just helpers. Husbands have duties to their wife, especially the Bible speaks to loving and cherishing and caring for them, also living with them with understanding.

[20:08] But the big picture is that in a family with a husband and a wife, whether there's children or not, the husband is designed to lead the family, and the wife to follow, to support, to help.

[20:24] And by the way, it's really hard to follow and to support when your husband is not leading or not leading well. And so that's a little call out to the husbands in the crowd.

[20:38] Focus, you know, spend time and attention on being a good leader. Wives who are struggling with a husband who's not leading end up feeling somewhat lost and adrift in their marriage and even in life.

[20:54] All right, here we go. We're going to go through this list of things, these virtues. Verse 11. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain.

[21:06] And so the first virtue we're here, if you're writing down notes, the first virtue is trustworthiness, being the kind of woman that your husband trusts. Well, in what way?

[21:19] You know, men, I don't think women have this saying, but men have this saying, he's got my back. Any men use that phrase or that kind of rings true?

[21:30] He's got my back. And so for men, having somebody in their life that they can trust means a lot. They want someone who has their back. And for a man, having a wife who has his back is amazing.

[21:48] It's really the number one thing, I think, that husbands may look for in a wife. A woman who has his back. Well, trustworthiness.

[21:59] Trustworthiness, trustworthy in what ways? Well, I think the most, when it talks here about not having lack of gain, is kind of the context.

[22:10] And so the first context we can look at is trustworthy as a steward. Trustworthy as a steward. You know, the Bible talks about stewards. And if you have a lot of money, you can hire somebody to manage your house, right?

[22:24] And we see that. We see narratives in the Bible about those who had stewards, those who managed their house, their home, or homes. But most men today, anyway, cannot afford to hire a steward.

[22:37] It would be nice, right, to be able to hire a full-time person to just manage your household. But most of us don't have that. And so the wife will play that role.

[22:49] And in general, the husband will provide the house and the raw materials. And as we say, the wife will turn a house into a home, right?

[23:05] Through her industry and resourcefulness. And you know, sometimes, especially early on in a marriage, the resources that a husband might bring home are somewhat meager.

[23:19] I know that was the case for myself and my young family. We just had meager resources. He says, I wasn't bringing much home to work with. But as they say, there's this saying that a good woman will turn her husband's pennies into dollars.

[23:39] Turn his pennies into dollars. Being resourceful. Finding ways to make those meager resources stretch. Also, being a steward over the children.

[23:53] Husband might have a vision for what he wants, the kind of values. And husbands and wives work together on this. What are the values that we want to inculcate into our children? What are the things that we want them to learn and to do?

[24:08] Working on that together. And a lot of times, moms spend more time with the kids than the dads. And so, a husband wants his wife to be aligned with him on that.

[24:19] And reinforcing the training and also the discipline that he might want in the family. The other way of trustworthiness is being trustworthy as a confidant.

[24:32] A woman that will keep private matters private. A husband wants to be able to confide in his wife. Maybe the things that he's struggling with.

[24:44] The things that he's feeling. Or maybe just wild visions that he has for life. That maybe he would be embarrassed to talk to others about. But he can talk to his wife about it.

[24:57] Because he trusts her. That she's not going to go tell other people these things that are meant to be private. Or maybe, you know, husbands make mistakes.

[25:08] They have weaknesses. They have failures. And so, a woman he can trust who will not just share all of his failures and weaknesses with others.

[25:20] You know, this happens too frequently. I see it on social media. In fact, I just saw something the other day. A woman talking about the weaknesses of her husband on TikTok or whatever it was.

[25:34] To millions of people. Not a wise move. In fact, there was just, I don't know how long ago this was. Five or so years ago. There was a friend on Facebook who was sharing some details about the family.

[25:47] That I just thought, wow. If I was her husband, I would be embarrassed. With her sharing that kind of information. And so, I actually messaged her. I said, you know what? This is not going to be good for your marriage.

[25:58] You need to reconsider. And I think you should actually take this down. And she did. Thankfully. And then the last one is trustworthy as a counselor.

[26:09] You know, the number one advisor to a husband ought to be his wife. And so, are you a woman of wisdom? Are you growing in wisdom? And are you the kind of person that your husband would love to come to for advice, that he seeks advice from?

[26:29] Verse 12. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. So, here's another one for trustworthiness. This is a continuation. He trusts her intentions.

[26:41] That her intentions towards him are good. That she will support him. Again, to use that same phrase. That she will have his back. And not undermine his interests.

[26:54] You know, there might be a disagreement, right, between husband and wife about how we do things. But how do we approach that? Do we just undermine our husband? Or do we go to our husband? Do you go to your husband and make a case, right?

[27:08] I think we should do differently. Do this thing differently. Rather than just behind his back or while he's not there undermining maybe the vision or the goals that he has.

[27:21] And so, questions for wives to ask themselves. First is, do I know what my husband's vision is? Do I know what his goals, his life goals are?

[27:35] Goals for his life. Goals for our family together. Maybe goals for his work. Do I know what those things are? And am I supporting those things as a wife?

[27:47] Am I doing things that might be hindering his vision, his mission in life? You know, in a marriage, you have two people that become one.

[28:06] And the Bible says that the husband is the leader and the wife is to follow. And so, when you have, when a wife joins herself to a husband, she is joining herself to his mission, to his vision in life.

[28:21] And so, and I've seen this many times. You might have a woman who's a city girl, right? And she falls in love with a rancher.

[28:34] And you know what? She's not a city girl anymore, is she? Now she's a cowgirl, right? And so, I'm thinking of some friends that we have where that was the case.

[28:46] But, you know, when you get married, your life changes and the trajectory of your life changes. Now, as you work together, you know, you work together on what our mission is as a family.

[29:01] What our vision is for our family and for our future together. But we don't have separate visions that we're pursuing. We're doing those things together.

[29:13] The next few verses, I'm just going to read through probably about eight verses here. Because they all have to do with the same thing, and that's this. And this is the next verse here. It has to do with industry. Industry. Being hardworking.

[29:24] Being diligent. And so, let's read through these. Verse 13. She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships. She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants.

[29:41] She considers a field and buys it. From her profits, she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night.

[29:54] She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

[30:07] She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all of her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

[30:19] These are all just examples. Examples of industry in life. Specifically regarding the household. When you read this, especially as a woman, this might seem overwhelming.

[30:36] There's a lot of things here. I mean, it doesn't sound like you even get to sleep. Right? And you're buying and selling land? Really?

[30:46] Well, I think we ought to consider two things as we're reading this. One, I think this is describing a woman of some years and maturity in life.

[30:58] Right? This is not a woman who is just getting started in marriage. Being productive, the kind of productivity we see here, is not something that you start out in life with.

[31:13] It takes many years of growing in your family and in your household. The second thing to bring out is that this describes a household of some means here.

[31:25] And so when you have a lot of wealth and property, there's more to do, more to manage, and a lot to it.

[31:36] And then there's things here that maybe many families just wouldn't be involved in just because they don't have the resources. Most of us don't have servants to prepare meals for or to manage.

[31:52] And most of us aren't buying land outside of the home that we live in that we might buy a property every 10 years, if that. And so when we read Scripture, sometimes we need to take it in its proper context, right?

[32:06] And what's going on in that time period or maybe who the example is that's being provided. You know, some scriptural instruction is completely timeless. You shall not steal.

[32:17] Does that only apply to the Jews back during the time of Moses? No. That applies to us all at any time for any people of any ethnicity and culture. But others provide examples, cases, if you will, that just provide principles.

[32:35] And that's what's going on here. These are principles of industry. They might not specifically apply to our house. You don't have to sew all of your family's clothes in this day and age.

[32:50] But they are examples of being an industrious wife. And so we shouldn't try to just kind of mindlessly emulate these ancient examples, especially if they just don't make sense for us in the day in which we live.

[33:04] And like I said, it's unreasonable for most wives to make their own clothes. That would actually be, for most of us, counterproductive, right? We have other things that would be worth, that would be a higher priority with our time.

[33:19] And so I just thought I'd list a few things that might be more modern examples. So in maybe the same kind of language as the sage here, we might say, she finds great deals at goodwill to keep her family clothed and stylish.

[33:42] She prepares meals, balancing nutrition and the other priorities of life. Because, you know, let's face it, sometimes nutrition just does not make the very top of the list and we have to cut corners in order to prioritize other things.

[33:56] But hey, nutrition needs to be an important part of that. She considers a new mixer on Facebook Marketplace and she buys it. She collects coupons to stretch the grocery budget.

[34:13] And she opens her home with generosity and kindness to all the neighborhood kids, or at least a few of them. You know, industry is going to look very different for every family.

[34:27] Because we just have different ways that we live our lives and different things that are a priority. Some are really into the hobby farming or maybe, you know, legit farming.

[34:39] And so industry looks like milking cows and doing farm work, raising vegetables in a vegetable garden, raising chickens and animals, collecting the eggs, canning vegetables for the winter.

[35:02] But we shouldn't try to always emulate what other people are doing and think that that's what we have to do to be industrious. And so consider your own, you know, if you're a city folk, right, maybe canning vegetables isn't the thing that you need to be doing to be industrious.

[35:25] But, hey, talk to your own husband. What are the things? Should I be spending the time grinding my own wheat? Is that valuable to you for me to be spending my time doing that?

[35:37] And maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. And maybe we're just trying to emulate something that we saw on the latest Trad Wife social media account. So carve out your own path to fit your own family mission and goals.

[35:54] And then finally on this, a word to husbands. You know, there are things that your wife will do that will, you'll just be amazed. You're like, I could not do that. You're so grateful for all these things that she does for you and for your family.

[36:09] But there may be other things that might frustrate you that you wish she could do or would do better. And, you know, there are some things that she just will never be good at.

[36:25] And, of course, it goes both ways, right? There are things that women wish their husbands would be better at and they're frustrated by them. But you know what?

[36:36] It's okay. Okay. Sometimes people are just not good at things. And we need to be okay with that. And lean, especially for talking to husbands, lean into the things that she is good at.

[36:48] Praise her for them. And sometimes we just need to let go of those weaknesses and say, hey, this just isn't something that maybe our family will be good at.

[36:59] Whatever that might be, lean into her strengths and sometimes just let go of the weaknesses. Verse 23. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

[37:13] Being known in the gates among the elders, this is just a way that community leadership was done back in this day. The elders, the older men, the leaders of the community would gather at the gates of the city to adjudicate different matters regarding the community.

[37:33] And so this is a husband who is known in the gates, who is a leader in the community. How does this relate to a wife? You know, for the most part, a husband being a leader is really up to him.

[37:45] But a virtuous wife will help in that regard, right? Because she is trustworthy, he doesn't have to worry about what's going on at home. He safely trusts in her managing all of those things.

[37:58] And he can be freed to do other things for the community that he may not be able to do otherwise. And so a wife who is trustworthy can allow him to give his energy to other things.

[38:10] Now, some husbands just are not going to be leaders in the community. And you know what? That's okay as well. Verse 24, She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants.

[38:26] And it says this, Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. Now, what does it mean, strength? Usually strength is something that is a, something attributed to men.

[38:39] But here I think strength is talking about strength of character, strength of heart. And so her strength of virtue, strength of character, the honor that she has among others because of her virtue are like her clothing.

[38:55] You know, women, God created women to be beautiful and they adorn themselves with all kinds of beautiful things, which is wonderful. That is how God designed it to be. When a woman gets dressed up, when a wife gets dressed up to go out on a nice date and she puts on her nice dress, it just, it's wonderful.

[39:15] It's tremendous. But that kind of beauty, that kind of outward beauty, is not what matters most. And so really looking for a woman who adorns herself, not just with the glitz and glamour of a nice dress or jewelry, but a woman who adorns herself with strength of character.

[39:37] And then it says that she shall rejoice in time to come. What does that mean? I think what that's probably talking about is that, hey, she's building a life for herself and her family that you can rejoice in.

[39:50] She's not destroying her house, but it's building it up. And so providing a foundation for rejoicing into her later years.

[40:02] Verse 26, she opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. And so a virtuous wife is not just a worker bee, just industrious, but she's also a counselor.

[40:14] In fact, hopefully the number one advisor to her husband. But not just an advisor to her husband, not just a counselor to her husband, but then especially as her children get older, an advisor to her children.

[40:28] I see this very much in my own household. In fact, I would say that my wife is the number one choice of counselor for my children, even above myself, which sometimes, you know, might make me feel, well, how come they're not coming to me?

[40:48] But I think the number one reason and the other thing that is on here is, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. That's probably the deciding factor, right? Because, you know, dads, I think, tend to be more gruff and not quite as sympathetic to the needs and the requests of their children.

[41:08] And maybe that's because, and maybe I'm just giving myself a poor excuse, but having to deal with, you know, a lot of the things, the ruthlessness going on in the world day in and day out, and you kind of maybe get hardened, and when your children come to you, you're a little bit gruff and unsympathetic.

[41:27] But hopefully husbands are protecting their wives from the ruthlessness of the world, and they can maintain that softness. And so my wife is definitely one that our children go to regularly for advice and concerns.

[41:46] Verse 27, She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Again, industry in the home. Verse 28, Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.

[42:01] And this is the praise. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. When a woman is virtuous, her children and her husband will recognize it, and they will praise her.

[42:15] Now sometimes they don't, even though they should. And this is, I think, an opportunity to remind both husbands and children, don't forget to praise your wife. And don't just do it once a year.

[42:29] That's a mistake I think many men make. Hey, I already told her that back in February or back in August. Do it often to praise her for her virtue.

[42:43] Do it again and again. Verse 30, Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. There's many charming women, many beautiful women out there.

[42:53] And it seems valuable, highly valuable, or in the moment, that beautiful girl. But over time, it's the virtue. It's the virtue that comes out as the most valuable in a woman, in a wife.

[43:08] The rest of those things end up becoming somewhat empty, especially over time. Fearing the Lord. And this is the foundation of all virtue. Finding a woman who fears the Lord.

[43:19] You know, when you're young, in your late teens, early 20s, and you're looking for a spouse, and you're both new, right? You're both new to life. You don't have a lot of experience, and the virtues are kind of still being developed and formed.

[43:31] But if you can find someone who loves the Lord, who loves His Word, who fears Him, who honors God, that is a tremendous and a wonderful foundation for building up a life of virtue together.

[43:46] Find someone who loves the Lord. In verse 31, give her of the fruit of her hand and let her own works praise her in the gates. I think this is said as kind of a final blessing to the virtuous wife.

[43:58] May her hard work lead to prosperity and good things, and may her virtue be praised both at home, but also those men in the gates, those leaders, they're noticing too.

[44:10] They see that your wife is one of virtue, hopefully because you've praised her yourself, but also because they've seen with their own eyes the virtue of your wife.

[44:24] And just kind of a final word, I guess we've already said this, but just to reiterate to husbands and to children, if you have a wife, if you have a mother who is a woman of virtue and industry, don't take her for granted.

[44:41] That kind of a woman is truly a rare jewel, and treat her as such. Let her know that you are grateful.

[44:53] Praise her, not just in private, but even openly before others. Do that maybe today, and then do it again tomorrow, and then the next day, and on and on into the future.

[45:11] All right, let's end in a word of prayer. Father, as I'm looking out, giving this message, I see many women in this room that I know are women of virtue, and it's so tremendous.

[45:25] There's so many out there, even though out kind of in the broader world, there are a few, I think in this church, there are, I think the numbers are a bit skewed, towards the positive.

[45:39] But continue to grow us as husbands and wives, to grow in virtue together, and give us the wisdom that we need, both as husbands and wives, in our lives, to build families that are strong, that are thriving, where the fear of the Lord is the foundation of our families.

[45:58] We thank you for all that, in Jesus' name. Amen.