Getting and Giving Forgiveness, Part 2

[0:00] Also, I have another confession to make. Due to my lapsing memory, someone told me, I think it was last week, but again, I'm not sure.

[0:14] It might have been two weeks ago. After the class was over, it came up to me and had an issue or a question that needed to be addressed. I agreed that it was worthy of consideration and that we would address it.

[0:30] And now I cannot remember what the question was or who asked it. Yes? I can't remember how I phrased it, but it basically was, how does the Bible interpret free lunch?

[0:43] Like, all the free lunches we're giving out there right now, not only eating, it's what we're giving people that do nothing. Oh, okay. Okay. The government handouts, as it were.

[0:56] Right. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, that jogged my memory a little. Now, yeah, well, how about if I put that on the burner for next week, okay?

[1:09] We'll talk about, actually, it relates to the welfare state and the abuse of it. There's no question, but what we should be eager and willing to address legitimate cases of need, and that's our responsibility.

[1:26] But there are a lot of illegitimate cases out there that are receiving from the government until what they shouldn't be receiving, and that's gone on for a long time, and we'll continue to, but that is a big item, and we'll be talking about that next week.

[1:44] So, thank you for reminding me, and it is a worthy subject, and especially in light of the fact that we've got an election coming up shortly, that will fit right in.

[1:54] So, we are going to continue our consideration of forgiveness, getting it and giving it. This is the second part of a two-part study, and we don't necessarily have to conclude this today, although I intend to, but if there are other questions or issues in connection with forgiveness that you want addressed that we do not cover today, then we'll do that, but you'll just have to let us know, and we'll be happy to look into it and pursue it a little bit further if we can.

[2:26] Forgiveness is predicated on an offense that has been committed. Otherwise, there's no need for forgiveness, and we've pointed out that in accordance with all human relationships, whether you're talking about a husband and wife, or whether you're talking about nations, how one nation is opposed to another nation, sometimes so much so that they go to war over an issue, and there is always one singular root cause for the failure of relationships, whether it is in a marriage or between nations, and that is the offense, and never forget that.

[3:14] That is the biggie. The offense is something that is said or something that is done that wounds or angers the recipient, the one who is offended, and what that creates then is a wedge between two people or two nations, and they begin distancing themselves apart.

[3:41] This happens all the time in marriages. There are marriages where unresolved offenses create resentment, and the way one partner feels toward the other partner because of the hurt or the wound that is there that has never been addressed, and over time, it just builds and builds and builds, and we tend to lodge these things in our spirit.

[4:13] And when somebody wounds you by what they say or what they do, it creates a wound, an emotional wound in you, a hurt in you, and you cannot remove it.

[4:31] The only one who can remove it is the one who put it there, and the only way they can remove it is by an apology, an apology that is rendered and an apology that is accepted.

[4:47] That's the way forgiveness works. Then the wound can heal, but where there's no apology and no forgiveness, the distancing there remains, and it causes people to say things like, you know, we're just not as close as we used to be.

[5:05] Really? Why is that? Because as you mature and grow in marriage and the years stack up for your marriage, you ought to be closer than you ever were.

[5:21] But some just kind of drift apart. And the reason they do is because there have been offenses created back and forth, retaliation, etc., that were never apologized for and were never forgiven, but held there in memory, and they produce resentment, and resentment affects behavior.

[5:45] It affects the way we relate to one another if there is resentment there. Don? Mark, the apology must be sincere, because like these you hear, an announcer makes something, they apologize all over the place.

[5:59] Did he really mean that apology, or did he just do it, try it, because everybody's coming down on him? Well, yeah. There is the political apology that you see all the time.

[6:12] But they demand an apology from somebody for this. So, in order to save face and political career, he can get on television or whatever and say, I apologize.

[6:23] Fellas, an apology is worth nothing if it isn't meant, if it isn't sincere. You can use an apology, politically speaking, just to cover the base and say, well, I apologize for that.

[6:39] That doesn't mean that you've changed your opinion, or you've changed your idea at all. You just use the magic word, I apologize, and it doesn't amount to a hill of beans if you still hold the same position that you held before.

[6:54] And saying the magic words, I apologize, doesn't cut it. But, it suffices for the world because that's the only way they know to operate. Yes? What if the offender isn't aware that they have a finger?

[7:08] That sometimes happens. And that too is an issue because it is entirely possible and here's, this is, the plot is thickening here, but it's important and I want to touch on this.

[7:23] It is entirely possible that someone offends you and it was not their intention to offend you and they didn't even know that you were offended, but you were.

[7:34] You were hurt deeply by what they said. So, where is the apology? Now the ball is in your court.

[7:45] That is, the offended one. It is your responsibility to let them know that you were hurt by that or that you were offended by that.

[7:57] And sometimes the ego of the person offended gets in the way and their reasoning is this. Well, I don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt me, that they got to me.

[8:12] so you don't. You just stifle it, you stuff it. And there's no healing and there's no recourse from that.

[8:24] It is still there and it will still create the distancing. So, it is the responsibility of the one offended to let the other person know.

[8:35] And you know what? It just might evoke an argument because they may say something like, well, I didn't mean to offend you and it's your fault that you were offended because you shouldn't have been offended.

[8:51] Now, there is the potential for an argument ensuing, but all I'm saying is, guys, the goal has got to be, as this thing goes back and forth and people take responsibility or assert responsibility, the goal is singular always.

[9:07] And that is restoration. Restoration. A healing of the wound so that normality can return in the relationship.

[9:22] Keep that in mind. The goal is always restoration. Not get even, but restore. So that the rift that has been created is healed.

[9:36] And it cannot be done apart from an apology rendered and forgiveness extended and everybody, well, not everybody, but in the case, for instance, the case of a husband and a wife, the good part is then you kiss and make up and you just move on and everybody benefits from that.

[9:56] So, forgiveness is always predicated on an offense and forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness, the word forgive means to dismiss, to send away.

[10:11] And when a judge renders a verdict of such and such a crime is forgiven or whatever, dismissed, that means the person who was charged is free to go.

[10:23] The charge is dismissed. Actually, actually, this goes all the way back to the Old Testament to an illustration that the Jews had with the sacrifice of a goat for a trespass offering and the nation, and they would have two goats and one goat would be slaughtered.

[10:49] It would be slain and the blood applied for forgiveness and the other goat was turned loose and sent out into the wilderness and it was called the scapegoat.

[11:03] And the scapegoat was a symbol of dismissal, freedom, where the other goat is sent out into the wilderness free to go, whereas the goat that was sacrificed is that which atoned for the sins and the other goat was a picture of the sins being dismissed or forgiven and sent away.

[11:32] And in our case, it is Jesus Christ who was the goat, quote unquote, who was sacrificed for our sins.

[11:44] And who is it that is the scapegoat, the picture of the scapegoat, dismissed and sent free, loose, you, me, only because of the goat that was sacrificed.

[11:55] So it's a beautiful picture there. And this thing called forgiveness is all about and everything is all about relationships.

[12:06] Fellas, all of life that is worthwhile is centered in relationships. relationships. It is not the person who has the most money or the most toys or the most prestige who is the most satisfied and fulfilled.

[12:25] It is the person who has the deepest, strongest, caring, loving relationships. That's where real happiness and fulfillment is found.

[12:36] It's in relationships. Life is all about relationships. Connections. In fact, God is so committed to relationships that he sent his son into this world for the express purpose of restoring a broken relationship between himself and humanity.

[13:03] That's how important relationships are. Connections. That's what it's all about. That's what is the spice of life. That's what's the good part of life. That's what's the fulfillment of life.

[13:14] That's the objective of life. That's everything. It's not he who has all the toys. It's he who has the great relationships. That's where satisfaction, fulfillment, enjoyment, everything comes from and it is a beautiful thing.

[13:30] And what God has done to make relationships cemented between believers is just priceless. So, what I want to cover now because there's two different aspects to this thing called forgiveness.

[13:44] And one is forensic, legal, judicial, permanent. forgiveness. And that is our relationship with God.

[13:59] And the other aspect of forgiveness is performance and temporal. It's based on what you do or what you don't do.

[14:12] And the best analogy that I can use is always remember that it is the work of Christ that has established the permanence and the stability and the security and the endurance of your relationship to him.

[14:32] It is based on what Jesus did. But in so far as performance is concerned, it's based on what you do, your performance.

[14:42] and one has to do with official position and the other has to do with official fellowship. And the best analogy that we can use is one with which we're all familiar.

[14:55] And that is with a parent and a child. When a child is born into your family, legally, judicially, just about every way, you have a relationship with that child.

[15:13] And that is not going to change. That is your official connection. Spiritually, morally, and legally, that's your connection.

[15:24] But when that child gets to be a teenager, in fact, it may even be before that, it may be while they're in the terrible twos that you have to administer the board of education to the seat of knowledge to get them to do what they're supposed to do.

[15:37] And that is because they did something that needed correction and you are administering discipline. And yet, even while you are administering discipline, spanking them, making them stand in a corner, when they're a teenager, you take away their car keys, you won't let them drive anymore, whatever it may be, that is always based upon performance.

[16:06] And your official position with that child has not changed one bit. You have not gone to court and legally disowned them so that they're no longer yours, which of course is nonsense, but you are in a position of estrangement.

[16:25] Your child may do something that displeases you sorely, but they're still your kid, and that isn't going to change. And the reason is because you generated them.

[16:41] You generated them. You know the word genes, having to do with genes and chromosomes, it's all related to the generation and the generating them. You generate a child when you implant that seed in the womb of the mother, and that child comes forth, they are yours, and your relationship with them can be dicey, can be tested, can be difficult, but that doesn't change the official connection.

[17:15] And that's the way it is with the Lord. We can rest assured that that which connects us to Jesus Christ is based upon what Jesus did on that cross, and that will never change.

[17:28] and that means you are freely, fully, forgiven, forever, and it is not dependent upon your behavior for which we can be grateful.

[17:40] But your fellowship, that's a different matter. It is entirely possible to be a child of God and be on the outs with the Almighty. Happens all the time.

[17:53] Especially when God doesn't come through and do for us what we ask or what we demand or what we think he ought to do. We can go and pout and get angry with God and say stupid things like I'm not going to read your old Bible anymore.

[18:11] I'm not going to go to your old church anymore. If you won't do this for me or you won't do that for me or give me this or give me that. And it could be like, what's his name?

[18:23] In the Old Testament, what's the guy's name? the Lord told him, get your house in order, you shall die and not live. Anyway, he went to bed, turned his face to the wall and had a big pouting party.

[18:42] And the Lord said, okay, I'm going to respond to your pouting like a petulant child. I'm going to give you another 15 years. Hezekiah, that was his name.

[18:52] I'm going to give you another 15 years. And during that 15 years, his son Manasseh was born and he was probably the most wicked king that ever sat on the throne.

[19:05] So, the Lord knows what he's doing and sometimes you know, God's ways are strange and different but they're always right. So, our forgiveness with him is based on what Jesus did.

[19:18] Your fellowship with him is based on what you do. And that means we ought to keep short accounts with God and that means that there is also a basis for repentance on the part of a Christian.

[19:34] Sometimes people think the only people who need to repent are sinners. No. Listen, guys, you never outgrow your need for repentance because the word means change your mind.

[19:49] and if your change of mind is legitimate and real, it will result in not only a changed mind but a changed attitude and a changed behavior.

[20:04] And if the repentance is not real, it won't be. It literally means through the mind. It is an act of the will and of the mind that you reverse yourself and that's what repentance is.

[20:17] So, repentance is for everybody. It's not just for unbelievers. Repentance is for anyone who when they discover something they believe is not true, what are you going to do about it?

[20:31] You need to change your mind. And this, by the way, is sometimes really difficult to do because tradition, tradition tends to trump truth almost every time.

[20:48] because tradition has feelings connected to it. And the changing of the mind has the intellect connected with it.

[21:04] And when you put the intellect and the mind up against feelings and tradition, the feelings and tradition will win out almost every time.

[21:18] Although, it shouldn't because the feelings and traditions are subjective. But truth is objective. And we always need to be committed to objective truth.

[21:31] That is, that which is true, whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not. Truth is truth. Truth is that which corresponds to reality.

[21:43] Your feelings and your traditions may or may not. But the issue is, will you go with what you know to be true intellectually as opposed to, but I've always believed this.

[21:56] That's our comeback. And we've got connections of feelings and emotions with that. And they are very strong. wrong. So what we need to be able to do is allow our intellect, our thinking, our reasoning to combat our feelings and our emotions.

[22:17] But most people do not. Most people do not. And that's the basis for a lot of heartache in this world. Forgiveness is according to our performance and it is repetitive rather than singular.

[22:32] Because we never outgrow our need for forgiveness because we do things that are wrong and we need to be forgiven for. But that's got nothing to do with our relationship. Let me put it this way. Your forensic forgiveness, your legal forgiveness is based solely on who Christ is and what He did.

[22:54] Your performance and your relationship with Him. And the quality of your relationship with your Lord is dependent on you. And your repentance, if that's what's needed, your behavior, etc.

[23:08] So, let's take a couple of examples and let's deal first of all with Romans 5.1 first.

[23:20] We've already established this from Colossians where Paul talks and said that Christ has forgiven us all trespasses forgiveness. And that is a blanket forgiveness.

[23:33] And a blanket forgiveness is permanent. It is dependent solely upon the work of Christ and your having received Him as your Savior.

[23:44] In that forgiveness, I think of it and I use the term a blanket because it means it covers everything. It is permanent and it is entire.

[23:55] and when you receive Jesus Christ as your Savior, there is not one single sin in your past that was not forgiven in that blanket.

[24:09] It is complete and entire. It is judicial. It is forensic. It is forever free forgiveness. That is your official position. And this is what Paul is talking about in Romans chapter 5 and verse 1.

[24:23] By the way, it's a kind of a conclusion. And it's another miserable chapter of the vision. So let's let's oh my well chapter 4 is well look at verse 24 of the preceding chapter.

[24:41] For our sake also to whom it will be reckoned as those who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He who was delivered up because of our transgressions and never forget the fact that it was His own Father that delivered Him up.

[24:59] It was the Father who delivered up the Son. It wasn't the Roman soldiers. They did it physically. But it was God who put Him there and made that a reality.

[25:11] And He was raised, He was delivered up because of our transgressions. That is, the Father gave the Son for the sins of humanity for our transgressions.

[25:22] and He was raised because of our justification. He was raised because the job was complete and finished. We were justified in Christ.

[25:34] And the best definition of justification is justified, never sin. That's what it means to be justified. Justified, never sin. That's what it means to be justified.

[25:47] The slate is wiped clear and clean. And then He continues in chapter 5, which as I mentioned is a bad chapter division because the continuation, the thought is going on.

[25:59] And when you break a chapter here, you break the continuity. And when the chapter starts out with therefore, what's that related to? It's related to everything that went before.

[26:10] But most people, they stop with verse 25, chapter 4, turn out the lights and go to bed, go to sleep. But you miss the conclusion. And the conclusion is therefore. having been justified, declared righteous on the basis of simply believing, on the basis of faith, we have, not might have, we have as a present reality, peace with God.

[26:38] That means the state of enmity from which our word enemy comes, the state of enmity between man and God, between you and God, is gone.

[26:53] There is no longer a state of war between a sinless God and a sinful being because the state of war is over. And Paul talks about this in Romans 1 when he talks about being alienated from God.

[27:09] So we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. that is a connection to the forgiveness that we have in him.

[27:21] And then there is another, and it's just over a couple of pages, relates very much to the same thing. Romans chapter 8, there is, therefore, there's another, another, therefore, another bad chapter division.

[27:33] But you've got to break these chapters somewhere, so I guess they did a good job as could be done. There is, therefore, now, by way of the way this plays out, the end result.

[27:46] There is, therefore, now, present time, no condemnation. That means the sentence of judgment is gone.

[27:57] You are uncondemned. You are forgiven. You are dismissed. You are set free for those who are in Christ Jesus.

[28:08] And you were placed into union with him when you received him as your Savior. And this has to do with your official position. It's got nothing to do with your behavior.

[28:20] Someone says, you mean to tell me, you mean to tell me that sins that I probably will commit in the future are already forgiven?

[28:36] Yep. Because remember, when Christ died for your sins, all your sins were future. He died for them back there.

[28:47] That covers the water front. That's for all of humanity. As in Adam, all die, and so in Christ shall all be made alive. And the all in the first place means the second thing.

[29:02] In the second place means the same as the all in the first place. And that is something that is free forever. forever. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And this is your legal position.

[29:14] And it doesn't matter how or what you do. That is not going to change. You are locked in to Jesus Christ because he paid for you and he is not going to allow his investment to be lost.

[29:32] And what if you, someone says, well what if after you're saved that you don't deserve, you don't deserve to stay saved. Well you never deserve to get saved, much less stay saved.

[29:44] It's got nothing to do with desserts, fellas. It's got everything to do with the efficacy of Jesus Christ. Who he is, what he did, how full and free that payment was.

[29:57] And when Jesus said on the cross, kettle that's time, it is finished. He meant it is a done deal. It is over with. And our security is in Christ and what he did.

[30:12] Our behavior impacts the rate, the degree of our fellowship and our union with him.

[30:23] In other words, let's use the parent-child relationship again. Suppose you've got a teenager. And your teenager is feeling his oats and is sparking rebellion and self-will and all of this and is doing things and getting into things that he shouldn't.

[30:42] Typical teenager out there testing the waters, you know, trying to find out how far he can go before the old man brings the hammer down, that kind of thing. It's a typical kind of teenager. And while he is engaged in that kind of attitude and that kind of behavior, you issue a few warnings.

[31:01] Sometimes you're going to come down and emphasize something by disciplining or whatever. And that never changes your connection with him.

[31:12] But what does that do to the relationship between father and son? It's a little icy. It's not what it ought to be.

[31:24] You are praying about that boy or girl every night and you want to see them on the straight and narrow, but you recognize they have a will of their own.

[31:37] And as I heard Dr. Dobson one time point out to a parent who had written in to Dr. Dobson and was seeking some counsel and this dear lady said, I don't know where we went wrong with our son.

[31:54] We had him in church and Sunday school every Sunday and we had family altar and we read the Bible and blah, blah, blah. And he still did this and he did that and we don't understand. And where did we fail our son?

[32:05] Where did we fail? And Dr. Dobson said, dear lady, you have to remember that the first people who ever lived had a perfect parent and they still went astray because your son or daughter, much as you love them, they have a volition of their own as a free moral agent.

[32:28] And sometimes they exercise it responsibly and sometimes they don't. You know what you call that? Life. That's growing up. That's kids doing dumb things.

[32:39] Did you ever do any dumb things when you were a kid? Did you ever do any sinful, stupid things when you were a kid growing up? Let me put it this way. Did you ever do any sinful, stupid things as an adult?

[32:52] Have you done any stupid, sinful things last week? What? We would hope that the picture is getting better. And do you know what you call that better? You call that growth.

[33:04] You call that development. You call that maturing. It simply means that being in Christ means we ought to become more Christ-like in our behavior this year than we were last year.

[33:21] Because you're maturing and developing. And you're learning more. And you're recognizing more the power of the flesh and the power of the Spirit and the availability of God to live a godly life and all the rest.

[33:35] And all of this is part of the growth process. It is something that we're all part and parcel of. And one of the saddest things is for a person to be in their 50s and 60s and still wearing spiritual diapers.

[33:55] Because they've never matured and never grown. Never developed. They're just stuck. Way back. Oh, they're saved. They'll be in heaven.

[34:06] And all they're going to have to show for what they did is what Paul described in 1 Corinthians 3. All of their works are going to be wood, hay, and stubble.

[34:18] And it's going to go poof in the smoke. But those who have matured and developed, their works are going to stand the test of the all-scrutinizing eye of Christ.

[34:29] And they will be gold, silver, and precious stone. And that will be the basis for reward. And even the one who had the wood, hay, and stubble that never did get with the program, yet he himself shall be saved, yet so as by fire.

[34:47] Why? Because his salvation is permanent. It is dependent on what Christ did for him, not on what he did for Christ. Don't ever get that mixed up.

[34:59] That is our basis for security. That's our only basis for security and stability. It's what Jesus did for you, not what you can do for him. And what we do do for him, we ought to do out of, not fear, I better do this, I better do that, I better tithe, I better go to church, because if I don't, God's going to zap me.

[35:22] No, that's nonsense. That's operating out of fear. We are to operate out of thanksgiving, out of gratitude. I love him, and I serve him because of what he did for me.

[35:39] And that's the very least I can do, is live for him. What a privilege. What a privilege. Well, let's move on. Okay. Extending forgiveness is a transaction and requires dual participation.

[35:56] And this is a difficult area, and it's testing, and I know there's a lot of people who won't agree with me, and some very intelligent people, Bible scholars, etc., on the other side, but I've been through this thing over the last 50 years, 60 years, and I'm convinced that I'm on solid ground with it, but I don't want to fuss about anybody who disagrees with me, but what I'm saying is, and it's an important point, and I bring it out in the forgiveness in the marriage series that I do.

[36:29] Extending forgiveness is a transaction and requires dual participation. Sometimes you cannot affect forgiveness from somebody who has wronged you, but we should always have a desire and an attitude to forgive and a want to forgive.

[36:59] But the reason I say it is a dual transaction is because, and follow me, guys, and I trust that this will stand the test of logic. Whenever an offense occurs, it's always a two-party thing.

[37:16] There is the offender and the offended. The offense is going to go somewhere and it lands on someone and that is the offended one.

[37:30] And it takes two people, one to create the offense and the other to be a recipient of the offense. So there is a wounder and there is a wounded.

[37:44] It's a two-way thing. And in order for restoration to be full and complete and as it ought to be, it is a two-part proposition proposition also.

[37:57] And by that I mean there needs to be an apology and forgiveness. What if they won't apologize?

[38:09] Well, that's where the difference comes in. That's why I say you cannot have a transaction of full forgiveness. If they will not apologize, you must always be eager and willing and ready to forgive.

[38:23] you must look forward to forgiving. You must want to forgive. But if the offended party, the offending party, will not acknowledge their offense, the transaction, your forgiveness doesn't have any place to go.

[38:42] You're stuck. You may want to forgive, you may be willing to forgive, but you cannot affect and extend forgiveness if there is no apology.

[38:52] Because as I've said, the forgiveness has no place to go. It's out there in limbo. Yet, it is really important, there must always be the desire and the willingness to forgive.

[39:07] And we ought to be able to say to ourselves, I would really love to forgive so and so, but they won't even acknowledge that they did wrong or that they did be wrong.

[39:18] Then you're stuck right there. And the best thing that can be done is to go to the party and try to have an airing of the issue and let them know how and to what extent you were hurt and offended by their offense and give them the opportunity to say, gee, you know, I never thought of it that way.

[39:42] I didn't realize, I didn't mean to hurt you, and I didn't realize that I hurt you that much. I'm really, really, really, sorry.

[39:56] And what that means, and it must mean, it must mean, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have done that. If we apologize just to get off the hook, it doesn't count, guys, it doesn't count.

[40:13] The apology has to come from the heart. it has to be something that you acknowledge and you want to do. You can't just mouth the words and expect to be an abracadabra and everything is removed.

[40:27] It doesn't work that way. The only way real restoration can take place is for an apology to be rendered and for forgiveness then to be extended.

[40:42] That completes the deal. that makes it full. That is the basis for restoration. Anything short of that, the cycle is not completed.

[40:56] It's minus a very important part. You see what I'm saying? In other words, it's a two-party thing that creates the offense. Offender and offended.

[41:10] It is a two-party proposition that has to resolve it. one cannot do it themselves. That's why I say, when someone wounds you, and I've classified these in the Marriage on the Rock thing as three different degrees of offenses.

[41:28] One is the dart. You know, when you throw a dart at the dart board, it just leaves a very, very tiny hole. Just a real little hole. That's like a minor offense.

[41:42] Somebody said something, it hurt you, but it didn't hurt that much, and you just kind of shrug it off. You know, you dismiss it. I'm not going to let it get to me, you just dismiss it. And then there's the arrow offense.

[41:56] It's a lot bigger than a dart. And when that arrow offense hits your heart, it really creates a wound. you've got an arrow, you've got a spiritual arrow stuck in your heart.

[42:13] And as much as you would like, you can't just reach in there and pull it out and let the healing begin. Because the only one who can pull it out is the one who put it there.

[42:29] That's why this is so difficult. That's why relationships are so damaged and enduring and never get repaired in many cases. And then, apart from the dart and the arrow, there's the spear.

[42:50] The spear creates a huge wound in the heart. This may be a wound of infidelity in a marriage, something really big, very, very painful, very hurtful.

[43:13] And that too isn't something that you can just reach in and pull it out and let because forgiveness is a two-way street. It's not a one-way thing.

[43:25] it took two parties to create the scene. It takes two parties to resolve it. And when it is resolved in the right way, you know what?

[43:37] The restoration can result in making the relationship stronger than it was before the offense occurred.

[43:49] That's the beauty of this thing, when it's done right. because here are two people who have gone through a very difficult time of wound and wounded, and that situation has been resolved.

[44:05] They have bested it. They've come out on the other side, and now their relationship should be and can be deeper and stronger than it was before the wound occurred because you have mastered that thing and come out on top.

[44:21] The two of you have. and that has a cementing effect in that relationship that perhaps did not even exist before. All right, questions or comments? Because this is difficult material and I'd be the first to admit it.

[44:35] But it's very, very important. And fellas, I'm trying to explain this is why so many relationships are not as they could be or should be because of unresolved offenses, things that are not forgiven, things that are not apologized for, and the wound is still there.

[45:01] And I'll tell you, some of us have wounds that go back to our childhood. Most of us can recall some instance, some item, something that happened way back when.

[45:17] And when you think about it today, it still hurts. It still hurts. You know why? Because it never was healed.

[45:28] The healing over will leave a scar, but it diminishes the memory and it diminishes the pain when it is resolved the right way. But we are so glib and so superficial in these things that we just think that a few magic words will, an abracadabra will fix it all.

[45:48] And it doesn't work that way. And that's why we have so many difficult connections in our relationships. And there are husbands and wives who've lived together for 30, 40 years, and they've got offenses between them that neither of them will bring up, neither of them want to talk about, don't want to open a can of worms, let sleeping dogs lie.

[46:12] but the wound is still there, never resolved. You don't want to bring it up because they just start a fight all over again. And you see what I'm saying?

[46:23] This is so typical of so many relationships, it doesn't have to be that way because God has made provision for their forgiveness. forgiveness. Okay. Well, I think we've pretty well covered that.

[46:41] I don't want to be repetitive but I just wanted to try to emphasize how important forgiveness, getting it and giving it is and how it should not be shortchanged at all.

[46:52] Yeah. Thank you. I'm going to do it. We all know why Armageddon is coming, do we not?

[47:05] The purpose will be to destroy the devil and his agents. Mm-hmm. Okay. So we wait for Armageddon. Meanwhile, we are all living with the sword in our heart that we cannot pull out.

[47:24] We will not pull it out ourselves. We have determined that we will live with the destruction that has been wrought of our country.

[47:40] By whom? The devil and his agents. We all know that's a fact. Yeah. We all know that we have to live with it. And I will not forgive the devil and his agents for destroying my country, my grandchildren's education system, my society, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my family and my friends.

[48:14] I will not. I won't say that I can't because that's just simply not true. I will not. I refuse. So, where?

[48:28] How? How does forgiveness for that destruction that has been wrought on us that we all, we all live with every day, this sword in us that hurts?

[48:44] It hurts. It's destructive. It hurts to the point of destruction. all the sadness that I see in the faces of those that I love every day that are sad because they don't know what to do with their kids who are being taught that they can be girls if they want instead of a boy.

[49:08] The education system has been destroyed like we were just talking about by the devil and his agents.

[49:19] So, we're told, hey, leave it to Armageddon. What? Okay, go vote. The destruction is done regardless of what happens this November.

[49:33] It will take, it has taken three generations to destroy education and society and everything else. How many generations will it take to restore it?

[49:47] And when will that sword be removed except through Armageddon? Meanwhile, we do like you were just saying.

[49:58] Well, we just hope for the best who may go forward. I will not forgive them. How do I live with this sword in my heart?

[50:10] I won't. Well, there needs to be, even in the midst of that, there needs to be a willingness to forgive. But the forgiveness cannot be extended without repentance and an apology.

[50:24] And when they offer the repentance and the apology, then we'll offer the forgiveness. But don't hold your breath. That's exactly the way it works.

[50:36] And by the way, what then would be the basis for our forgiving, even the vilest among us? What would be the basis?

[50:47] The basis is Christ died for them. Like it or not, Christ died for the unlovely. And do you realize that the unlovely consists of everybody?

[51:03] We're all unlovely. It's just a different degrees. So, this is all part and parcel of the great scheme and the great plan of forgiveness.

[51:15] And never lose sight of this fact. That which becomes the basis for forgiving anyone, anything, is the fact that God has forgiven you in Christ. So, Paul talks to the Ephesians and says that we are to be kind to one another and forgiving one another even as Christ forgave you.

[51:41] Even as God in Christ forgave you. So, we cannot look at someone who has erred and strayed and say I can't forgive that person and I have no reason to forgive them and I don't want to forgive them and I refuse to forgive them.

[51:57] That is saying that your standard is higher than God's standard. And I know we don't believe that. Joe. Joe. Society as a whole, you're talking about here, is not going to get any better because the devil is ruling this world.

[52:15] So, you can't expect it to get any better. That's true. It's going to get worse and we're going to eventually have the second coming in Armageddon that you talk about. But you in your own heart can know that you are saved, that you are going to eternity, that God loves you, and that you can look forward to the rapture that's going to precede all of this Armageddon, this ending.

[52:41] You're going to have the hope of being raptured away from it if you know the Lord and you're in Him and He knows you, and He wants you then to follow Him and do what He would have you, like Marv is saying, as close as you can to get as mature as you can in Him because you have a different outlook and have an eternity to look forward to.

[53:07] Amen. Thank you. Roger? Is there forgiveness for the devil and his agents? Are they already condemned? Well, let me put it this way. I would say...

[53:18] He's an angel and no salvation for angels. Well, not only that, but the Lord says that Satan was a liar from the beginning and there is no truth in him.

[53:32] So in order for anyone to be able to offer an apology for anything, it has to be based on truth, on the reality of the situation. And Satan does not traffic in truth.

[53:43] So I would say that the possibility of his repentance, which is kind of ridiculous to even use the terminology of the devil repenting, that's a non-sequitur.

[53:55] That's not going to happen because his nature is what it is and it's not going to change. So anyway, this is a very involved subject and just let me close with this by saying the very essence of life is based upon the quality of our relationships to each other and especially in a marriage relationship, the fulfillment of it and the happiness of it depends entirely upon the connection that people have, the relationship, the depth of it.

[54:29] And so much hinges upon righting wrongs and apologizing, extending forgiveness, accepting forgiveness, and giving forgiveness and so on. All of this comes together.

[54:39] Next week we'll take up the subject that I had forgotten about and we'll be discussing the free lunch and the handouts and all of that good stuff, especially in light of what's coming up by way of an election.

[54:53] Thank you. Enjoy your breakfast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.