Titus 1:10

[0:00] So let's get started here. We're in the book of Titus, and I think we might actually get through chapter 1 today. But go ahead, and if you've got a Bible, open it up to the book of Titus. It's near the end of your Bibles.

[0:17] If you see 1 and 2 Timothy, you're almost there. Just turn a few pages, and then you'll get to Titus. Yes. We've been, oh yeah, and the kids can be dismissed for the children's church, those who are interested in that.

[0:40] We've been going through Titus, and a few weeks ago, going through the really character attributes, but the qualifications for a leader in a church, whether they're called an elder or a pastor or a bishop.

[0:56] And looked at those, and then we got into the next section, which is really talking about the doctrine that's taught, and making sure that the doctrine that is taught in a church is appropriate.

[1:10] So we're going to continue on in that vein. Let's start, we'll just do a reading here, and then jump into it. We'll start in verse 10.

[1:21] Titus chapter 1, verse 10. For there are many insubordinate, both idle talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole households, teaching things which they ought not, for the sake of dishonest gain.

[1:39] One of them, a prophet of their own, said, Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons. He's writing to the people in Crete, or at least he's writing to Titus, who was in Crete at the time.

[1:52] This testimony is true. Therefore, rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.

[2:03] To the pure, all things are pure. But to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure. But even their mind and conscience are defiled.

[2:13] They profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work. Last time I was with you, we started getting into, really what I see here is three areas of false teaching that you might find in a church.

[2:34] Three kind of like categories. The first thing that we looked at was fables, and we talked about Jewish fables, of which there are many. Paul actually speaks of these as Jewish.

[2:45] He identifies them as Jewish fables. During that time, there was an oral tradition, even at that time, that included fables, just made-up stories that we would imagine are supposed to have lessons to them.

[3:03] And eventually they got those oral traditions that were just passed down orally, were transcribed onto paper. And the Jews have this even today.

[3:20] But we also talked about how it's not just the Jews that can come up with fables, right? And we talked about some of the different things in the Catholic Church, and even among Protestants or Evangelicals, which we would identify with as being a part of.

[3:37] But the next thing, so the first category would be fables, false teachings that are fables, just kind of made-up stories. And, you know, as human beings, human beings are creative.

[3:51] Isn't that wonderful? God is creative. He created the heavens and the earth, and he made us to be like him in that way. We are creative. I'm always amazed at the kinds of things that my children come up with.

[4:03] Their imaginations are so much more vivid than mine. I don't know if I was more creative when I was younger. My mom's here today. Was I more creative when I was younger? I don't know.

[4:14] But it seems especially when kids are young, they're so creative. But when it comes to God's Word and spiritual instruction, is that a place for us to be creative?

[4:32] No, it's not a place for creativity. Making up stories. Now, in explaining and coming up with illustrations, there's creativity there. But in actually providing instruction and what we ought to do as Christians, there's no room for creativity.

[4:49] We need to abide by God's Word and stick closely to that. So fables, Jewish fables. The second is the commandments of men. The commandments of men.

[5:00] And that's where we ended last week, and that's what we're going to talk about this morning. Commandments of men are man-made traditions. These aren't commandments from God, but commandments that men have made up.

[5:14] I think about in the Catholic Church, we talked about this when it came to fables, but in the Catholic Church, so many things that are not from the Scriptures. You have rosaries and Lent and fastings.

[5:30] The celibacy of the priesthood is one of those things that is a commandment from men. I think sometimes there's an attempt to provide a scriptural support for those things, but many times is quite forced.

[5:49] But even in kind of the Protestant world, one of the things that I think about when it comes to commandments of men being creative and coming up with commandments is in the Amish and Mennonite communities where we see lots of rules and regulations about electricity and the kinds of clothes you're allowed to wear, what color clothes you're allowed to wear, what styles.

[6:16] Even in the Mennonite community, and the Mennonite community is somewhat diverse, so there's a range in kind of what you'll see. But if I can get this right, I think in some Mennonite communities, you can buy a car.

[6:30] Cars are fine, but it has to be black. You can't get a yellow car or a red one or purple or green. It has to be a black car, and that's a rule, and you have to abide by that.

[6:45] But even outside of what we consider more legalistic traditions, I know this isn't as common today, but how many of you grew up in a church where you weren't allowed to go to the movie theater?

[7:01] Anybody? A few? A few hands up. Yeah. And so it was a regulation, really a man-made commandment, that you don't go to the movie theater.

[7:13] Well, Jesus had something to say about commandments of men as well, not just Paul.

[7:24] And so we'll look at this in Mark 7. Mark chapter 7. There's quite a few verses, so if you want to turn there, you can keep your finger in Titus.

[7:35] And we're going to look at Mark 7, starting with the first verse. Then the Pharisees and some of the scribes came together to him, having come from Jerusalem.

[7:48] Now when they saw some of his disciples eat bread, defiled, that is with unwashed hands, they found fault.

[7:58] For the Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they wash their hands in a special way, holding the tradition of the elders. Notice this is a tradition.

[8:12] When they come from the marketplace, they do not eat unless they wash, and there are many other things which they have received and hold, like the washing of cups, pitchers, copper vessels, and couches.

[8:23] Then the Pharisees and scribes asked him, Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but they eat bread with unwashed hands?

[8:34] He answered and said to them, Well, did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites? As it is written, The people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me, and in vain they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.

[8:53] They are treating these traditions, Now, traditions aren't necessarily bad. In fact, we just celebrated a tradition this weekend, didn't we?

[9:04] The tradition of Thanksgiving. Is it wrong or bad or negative in any kind of way to celebrate a Thanksgiving holiday? That's not a scriptural holiday.

[9:14] It's not something that God commanded in the Bible that we celebrate a day of Thanksgiving. In fact, it's even just unique to our country. Other countries have Thanksgiving celebrations, I believe. I think Canada has one.

[9:26] It's not on the same day. But it's a positive thing. But what's Jesus upset about here? He's saying that you are teaching that these traditions, which don't come from the scriptures, you're teaching them as if they are the commandment of God.

[9:41] And that's what he had a problem with. He says this in verse 8, For laying aside the commandment of God, you hold the tradition of men. So notice how he said, You're laying aside the commandment of God.

[9:54] It gets in the way of God's command. The washing of pitchers and cups and many other such things you do. And he said to them, All too well you reject the commandment of God that you may keep your tradition.

[10:06] He gives some examples. For Moses said, Honor your father and your mother. And he who curses father or mother, let him be put to death. But you say, If a man says to his father and mother, Whatever profit you might have received from me is korban, that is a gift to God.

[10:24] Then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother, making the word of God of no effect through your tradition, which you have handed down. And many such things you do.

[10:37] And we'll stop there. Now that last part is a little strange to us. We don't understand that tradition. He was probably talking about something that was a tradition that those listening to him would have been familiar with, but today we are not.

[10:51] But basically this was a tradition where, you know, as when your parents become elderly and they're not able to work anymore, a lot of people didn't have, you know, retirement funds or an IRA or a 401k or things like that like we do today.

[11:08] And so, the children were expected to help care for their parents in their age, in their older age. But they had a tradition handed down from the elders where you could basically promise your wealth in some way to give to the temple or some other ministry.

[11:28] and it would be held preserved for that in some way. And that way you wouldn't have to, you know, give of any of your hard-earned money to help your parents in their time of need.

[11:45] And he quoted scriptures here about how it's important and the commandment of God to honor your parents. And that's just one way that we can honor our parents in their older age.

[11:59] And so, the commandment of men was used as a way to undermine the scriptures. And so, I thought there were really two kind of ways that traditions or commandments of men can have a negative impact.

[12:16] And one way is to undermine the scriptures. I think of this whole rule about priestly celibacy that those who lead churches need to be celibate.

[12:28] And how that has actually undermined the word of God. Because what does God say about men? That they should find a wife, right?

[12:39] And unless you have a special gift, that a man should find a wife. And that that is a good thing. And I can imagine the purpose, right, of having celibacy for priests and that it will maybe avoid sexual morality.

[13:02] But do we see that that actually happens? Or is there a huge problem of sexual morality even among those who are priests? I think sometimes we create extra rules in order to try to avoid sin, right?

[13:21] So going back to the movie theater instruction. Now, is there all kinds of filth and different things like that at the movie theater? Yeah, I see lots of nodding of the head.

[13:33] There's lots of things that, you know, we shouldn't put in front of our eyes. And so, you could imagine if you just create the rule, you never go to the movie theater at all, then you'll never put anything filthy before your eyes, right?

[13:51] Until it comes out on DVD, right? And I've heard so many, right, who, they were faithful, they didn't go to the movie theater, but then, you know, as soon as that movie came out on DVD, they put it right in the DVD player.

[14:07] And that's not what God wants, right? God wants us to grow up. In fact, if you read in the book of Galatians, the book of Galatians, there's a section there in, I think, chapter 3 that talks about this, not being children anymore.

[14:21] And really, even the law of God was, treated the Jewish people as children, as children, all these rules and regulations.

[14:32] But God doesn't want us to just live under rules and regulations. Christians. One example is the tithe, right? The Jews were supposed to give a tithe on all their produce and all their increase.

[14:45] Excuse me. And today, it's common to continue teaching the tithe, even though that was a purely Jewish law that we are not under today as Christian believers.

[14:58] believers. But today, how are we supposed to give? Yeah, give according to what God has put on your heart. Be a cheerful giver.

[15:09] Give willingly. Not out of some kind of obligation, but give willingly. And so, it really is in some ways easier, right, just to follow a rule. You know, you do the math, here's the 10%, and you put that in the offering plate or in the box.

[15:25] But God wants us to grow up, not just follow these rules like children do, right? Rules are really good for children. You ever notice that? Now, you don't have to have a ton of rules, but kids need boundaries.

[15:39] But when they grow up and become adults, you want them to learn how to think for themselves and use wisdom. And that's what God wants from us, is to use wisdom in our lives.

[15:52] So, you can imagine, maybe in the Mennonite community, well, people might tend to dress immodestly, right? Or, be a little bit too, they might buy a car that's a little too flashy.

[16:07] And that's a sign of immodesty too, right? You kind of want to show off all your cool stuff. And so, if we just make everybody buy the same color car, then we'll avoid that.

[16:18] But that's not what God wants from us, right? He wants us to live in Christ, to have our hearts transformed, not just to live by a set of rules. So, the two categories, fables, commandments of men.

[16:37] And the third one, I think, is really touched on here in verse 15. And this might seem confusing because it seems to be unrelated. But he says this in verse 15, to the pure, all things are pure.

[16:51] But to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure. But even their mind and conscience are defiled. He continues on, they profess to know God, but in works they deny him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.

[17:09] To the pure, all things are pure. What does that mean? Some have thought that maybe this means that, well, if you are a Christian believer, then that means that everything that you do is pure.

[17:24] You can't sin. Is that true? No, I think most of us realize that, right? Even as believers, we certainly can, and unfortunately, do sin.

[17:38] So it seems to me that this, and to many people, I think, that this is a reference to the dietary law of the Jews. And so really, I think this hits the third category of false teaching, which is adherence to Jewish law.

[17:58] Right? So we can follow and create our own new commandments, which many people do. But the other mistake that we might make is that, oh, well, we can go back to the Jewish law, God's law, right?

[18:12] These aren't commandments of men. These are commandments of God. And so if we go to God's law, that will provide safety and security. So if we do some of the things that God commanded of the Jews in the Old Testament, that will keep us safe from sin.

[18:32] In Exodus chapter 34 verse 12, here's part of the law. It says, take heed to yourself, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be a snare in your midst.

[18:50] You shall destroy their altars, break their sacred pillars, and cut down their wooden images. For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord whose name is jealous is a jealous god.

[19:04] Lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they play the harlot with their gods, and make sacrifice to their gods, and one of them invites you, you eat of his sacrifice.

[19:20] So part of the law was, you know, don't basically hang out with these idol worshipers, and don't let them influence you.

[19:32] Don't worship their gods, and don't even eat with them. And why was that? Why not eat with them? He says here that one of them would invite you, and you eat of his sacrifice.

[19:47] Because for the pagans, they would sacrifice their meat to their false gods, and then offer it, you know, to whoever the guest might be.

[19:59] And so, in the law of Moses, it was said, don't do that. And so, that was something that the Jews would not do. They would not go and eat at a Gentile's house.

[20:11] Because, one reason was because many times, their food that they offered would be offered to false idols. We see this also when it came to Daniel.

[20:26] You read in the book of Daniel, and him and his buddies, when they were in the king's court, right, they refused to do something. What was that? They refused to eat meat, right?

[20:37] They would eat vegetables. Now, why is that? There's nothing in the Old Testament law about only eating vegetables. Well, the reason they wouldn't eat meat is because all the meat that was offered, all of it was sacrificed to false gods.

[20:52] And so, that was the reason that Daniel and his friends made a commitment not to eat anything but vegetables in the king's court. If they were back home, they would have eaten meat, you know, maybe every day, but not here among the pagans or among the Gentiles.

[21:07] And so, this was an important thing for the Jews. But there was a change that happened for those under grace. When God turned to the Gentiles, the law, these laws became a moot point.

[21:26] We are, as believers, as Gentile believers, as grace believers, not under the law. So, a few verses where Paul points this out, 1 Corinthians 8, 4. Therefore, concerning the eating of things offered to idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is no other god but one.

[21:47] So, Paul is talking about this concept of eating meat sacrificed to idols. And you know, in the world at that time, the only way that you could eat meat that was not sacrificed to an idol, basically, was to raise it yourself and butcher it yourself.

[22:05] Because if somebody else raised it, they would offer, and somebody else butchered it, if you went to a restaurant, the meat you would find would always be sacrificed to an idol, or most of the time.

[22:18] In Romans 14, 14, Paul says this, I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself, but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him, it is unclean.

[22:35] A few verses later in verse 20, he says this, do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure. Does that kind of resonate with the verse that we just read?

[22:48] To the pure, all things are pure. But Paul says in verse 20 here, all things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense.

[22:59] If your conscience does not allow you, then don't eat that meat. But as a Christian, our conscience should not bother us. So if you are pure, if you are in Christ, and by the way, do we always feel pure?

[23:19] Do we always act pure as believers? Because here, Paul is basically saying to the pure, and he's talking about to believers, he's calling believers pure.

[23:34] And why is that? Christ has made us pure. The blood of Christ purifies us from every sin. And the Bible teaches that we as believers, where is our identity?

[23:48] Where is our life? Our life is found in him. And is Christ defiled? Is Christ unclean? No. No. No. Christ is pure.

[23:59] Jesus Christ is pure. And because we live in him, we have as part of our identity who we are as we are pure as well. Now, the Bible also teaches that we should live pure lives.

[24:13] We need to walk out our identity. We need to live that out. But we are identified with him as pure. So to the pure, all things are pure.

[24:25] It's not as if in Christ there's some way that you can make yourself even more pure by washing your cup or avoiding unclean animals or anything like that.

[24:37] You can't make yourself any more pure than you already are in Christ. Your purity is final. It's complete. We are complete in all ways in Christ.

[24:48] But he says on the other side, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, so this is unbelievers, nothing is pure, but even their mind and conscience are defiled. So if you're not a believer, if you're not in Christ, can washing your cup or avoiding meat sacrifice to idols or avoiding unclean animals in any way make you pure?

[25:11] No, it doesn't have any impact at all in your purity. But he talks about this, but even their mind and their conscience are defiled. And Jesus talks about this, right?

[25:22] He says it's not what goes into a man. It's not the food that he eats. It's not whether his cup is clean when he drinks. But where does sin come from?

[25:34] It comes from our hearts. It's what comes out of a man in our heart is where sin comes from. And that's what God is most concerned with. So even, and so I think this verse that we just discussed is talking about the commandments of the Jews, the Jewish law.

[25:52] The Jewish law was meant to point to something, right? Types and shadows. And it was important for the Jews to keep these laws. But for those of us in Christ, in Christ who has fulfilled the law, these things are of no value.

[26:08] And so we shouldn't put a lot of weight on them. They profess to know God, but in works they deny him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.

[26:22] And lots of people profess to know God, and some actually do, but not all do, do they? Just because someone professes to know God doesn't mean that they do. And in works they deny him.

[26:37] And this can, I think, speak of both those who don't truly know God, right? In their works they deny God. But is it possible, even for a believer, somebody who really has their faith and trust in Christ, is it possible to deny God through our works?

[26:57] Yeah. God forbid that that would ever happen. But it does. Even among believers, through the things that we do, we can deny God.

[27:08] We don't want to do that. Being abominable, abominable just means detestable. In fact, some translations might say that. Disobedient and disqualified, or some translations say unfit for every good work.

[27:24] We're going to go on to the second chapter. But as for you, so Paul's been talking about these false teachers, people who are giving out false teaching of different varieties.

[27:38] But as for you, Titus, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine. You know, some people, excuse me, the idea of doctrine, you know, people don't like.

[27:52] Well, you know, I just want to kind of love people as a Christian, and I don't really want to read my Bible a lot. It's kind of confusing. And there's a lot of words in there, a lot of things to understand, so I just want to kind of be a good Christian, and just like love people, and try to be the best I can, and all that.

[28:11] But doctrine is really important to God. He wants us to know and understand his word. And really, we can't live the kind of life that he wants us to live unless we understand what he wants from us, unless we understand doctrine.

[28:29] Sound doctrine, this word sound, you'll see a lot in the scripture, many times means, it just means healthy. Healthy doctrine. Healthy doctrine that's not sick, not perverse, but that's whole or healthy.

[28:45] Here, when he's talking about doctrine, this is almost all of it's going to be practical. He's talking about how you ought to live practically. A lot of times with Paul, you see in the beginning of his epistles, he gives doctrine about who Christ is, and what he's done for us, and who we are in Christ, and all these kinds of things.

[29:01] And then in the second half, he'll get into more practical matters about how we ought to live. But Titus is really mostly focused, I would say, 80-90% on practical living.

[29:15] In verse 2, in fact, we'll just kind of read through here. that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, and love, and patience. The older women, likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

[29:50] We'll end there, because I think that's where we'll end today. But he starts, basically he's going through, and he's talking about really four different groups, I guess five, because he also talks about bond servants or slaves.

[30:03] But older men, older women, younger women, and younger men. And if you read through this, you'll notice that there's a ton of overlap, because for many, when it comes to a lot of things, it doesn't matter whether you're old or young, male or female, the way that we ought to live is the same, isn't it?

[30:25] There's a lot of things that overlap, regardless of our age or our gender. But there are a few things where there are unique responsibilities or roles based on whether it's our gender or even our age.

[30:39] So he says that the older men would be sober. And sober, I think, both literally and figuratively, right?

[30:50] Again, like he said about the elders, not given to wine. Don't give yourself over to it. Don't get drunk. But also sober, in the sense of being sober-minded, is not giving your mind over to foolishness, which is kind of what alcohol will do to your mind, right?

[31:09] It turns people into fools when they become drunk. And so, don't be foolish. Be sober-minded. Be wise. Use sound judgment.

[31:19] Be prudent. The next word he used is reverent, or at least in my new King James Version. The King James uses the word grave. And another version says serious.

[31:31] And the ESV says dignified. And I think that that word dignified is probably, it seems to me, is probably the best from what I can tell.

[31:43] So reverent. Not that you are reverent towards others, necessarily, but that you live your life to be a person who is revered, that people revere, I think is what he's getting at.

[31:56] So live a dignified life, a respectful life, a life in which people will respect you because of how you live. The NIV, actually, I noted here, says worthy of respect.

[32:09] And I think that's pretty well said. Worthy of respect. So as an older man, live worthy of respect. And older men generally should be respected.

[32:21] In fact, the Bible says that in several places, both in the Old and the New Testament, that those who are older, we should give respect just based on their old age. But do we all know people who are, even though older, are not really worthy of that respect?

[32:38] Right? So we ought to, even though honor might be due because of your age or even position or title, we ought to live up to that. Right? The next word he uses is temperate.

[32:54] And it can be translated as prudent or self-controlled. Again, another word that we looked at when it came to the elders. And then he says this, sound in faith, in love, and in patience.

[33:07] Sound, again, is that word that means healthy. Healthy when it comes to your faith. Healthy when it comes to your love. And healthy when it comes to your patience. I think it's, and I'm not exactly sure if this is what Paul was kind of alluding to, but, you know, when you get older, your health starts to fail.

[33:27] Your physical health, right? You start, your eyes, you know, don't work as well anymore. Your legs don't work as well. Sometimes you get arthritis and you don't move as quickly.

[33:38] You're not bounding up and down the stairs like you used to. You're not bound to. Health begins to fail. But, here's the admonition. Even if your body isn't as healthy as it used to be, your character, your love, your faith, and what's the other one?

[33:56] Your patience should continue to be healthy. Don't let that go with your body, right? We can't really help with our bodies. We can help a little bit, you know, with exercise and diet and that kind of thing. But, ultimately, it's somewhat out of our control, the health of our bodies.

[34:11] But, our character, our demeanor, the way that we approach life and approach people is in our control. So, may our faith, our love, and our patience be healthy, be sound.

[34:25] Then, he turns his attention to older women. Older women, likewise, that they be reverent in behavior. Again, I think this is the same thing. Worthy of respect.

[34:37] Then, he says this. Not slanderers. And, this word slanderers in the Greek is a very interesting word. Does anybody know what the Greek word is here?

[34:48] It's diablos. What does that sound like? The devil. The devil. The devil is a liar, isn't he? And, that's where he gets his name.

[34:59] That's what the word devil means. If you speak Spanish, you know, it's actually very, it's almost a transliteration from the Greek. Diablo, the devil. And, so, don't be like the devil.

[35:10] Don't slander people. And, you know, how come he says this about women and not men? Are men not able to slander? Do men never slander? Do men never lie about others?

[35:23] That's not true. But, I think our gender tends to, we tend to have different weaknesses, right, based on our gender. One for men that we read about is violence, right?

[35:37] How many people who are locked up in jail for violence are women? Like, what, 2% maybe? It's 98% men who commit acts of violence.

[35:49] And, that's because whether it's testosterone, it's the way that God created men to be aggressive. And, so, that can turn into a weakness, can't it? And, so, a slandering, when you don't have the ability to kind of attack somebody through physical violence, right, like a man might do, what's another way that you can kind of attack somebody?

[36:13] Gossip, slander, lies. I'm going to get her, right? I'm not going to go and punch her out. That's what a guy would do, right? He'd go get into a tussle and throw somebody down on the ground.

[36:27] You see this with bar fights or whatever. But, with the ladies, what do they do? They'll tell a lie behind somebody's back or something like that. That's a tendency. Not given to much wine.

[36:41] Again, these are the same thing. Men and women, young and old. Don't give yourself to that wine. No drunkenness. Teachers of good things.

[36:52] You know, we're all teachers. There are places in the Bible where it talks about making sure that it's the men who teach in the church. But, does that mean that women should never teach?

[37:05] No. In fact, it seems to me that in some of the most important ways, that women are the most important teachers.

[37:19] Because who typically do women teach? Children. Children. And, like the saying goes, you know, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

[37:35] There's a saying that all the things that you need to know in life, you learned in, anybody know? Kindergarten, right? Really? At six years old, all the most important things, and is that somewhat true?

[37:50] I mean, it rings, there's a ring of truth, isn't it? You learn how to share. You learn so many basic things about how relationships work, about how to get along with people, about how life works when you're pretty young.

[38:05] And, where do, where should children learn those things? From their parents. And, who do they usually spend the most time with? Mom, right?

[38:16] And, if you, a lot of times, when parents are absent, kids will, instead of learning from mom and dad, what will they learn from? The TV.

[38:27] I heard that, yeah. The TV. Do we want the TV to be our kid's teacher? Absolutely not. So, teachers of good things.

[38:42] And then he gets into something specific, because it's not that women might just only teach their children, even that's probably, it seems to me, the most important role of teaching.

[38:54] But he says this, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. So, older women should admonish or teach the younger women.

[39:10] And, he lists a bunch of things that should be taught to the younger women. I think the important thing to point out here is that we're all leaders. We all should be leaders in some way.

[39:23] Whether, even if you're young, right, if you have younger siblings, you should be a leader as an older brother or an older sister to the younger ones. Fathers need to lead their households.

[39:35] Mothers need to also lead their households in a different way, but also lead. We all find positions of leadership throughout our lives. And we need to look for opportunities.

[39:47] When you're a leader, you need to look for opportunities to invest in other people. And so, when it comes to older women and younger women, I know, I've heard from so many younger women, you know, they started a family.

[39:58] Sometimes, they didn't grow up in a really great household or there were a lot of just holes missing in their upbringing. and they want to maybe do differently than how they were brought up and how they raised their kids.

[40:13] And they're just desperate. Somebody help me out. Somebody show me what to do. And sometimes, they just, nobody offers. Now, I can see also, sometimes I've seen on the opposite side where you have an older woman who sees, maybe a younger woman who could use some help, but she's not really looking for it.

[40:34] and maybe you offer some advice and get rejected. Right? And then, you kind of have a tendency when that happens to say, well, I guess I'm not going to offer any advice again.

[40:46] And that's not really healthy, is it? When it comes to, when it comes to leadership and especially when it comes to age, both older men and older women should be looking for opportunities to invest.

[40:59] And what that also means is that when you're younger, you should be looking for opportunities to invite that investment into your own life. And that takes humility.

[41:11] Right? So, you know, what's a common trait among young people? They tend to know everything, right? And we've all, you know, no matter what age, well, especially the older ones, right, we all know that.

[41:25] Why? Because we've observed it in other people? Because we remember it from ourselves, right? We knew everything when we were 18 or 20 or whatever. And so, younger people should look for opportunities to invite an investment of wisdom into their lives.

[41:47] And the older ones should look for opportunities. I think it's always easier if somebody invites you to give advice to, that's always easier, right, than to give advice without somebody asking.

[42:04] So, because there's a risk, it can be rejected. But even if it is, don't lose heart, continue to look for opportunities, and really build relationships.

[42:16] I think sometimes when advice is given when there's not a relationship, that's when it's harder to receive. So I think it's important. This is why, you know, in a church, I think it's so healthy for a church to have both older and younger together.

[42:31] Some churches, it's all older people. Other churches, it's all younger people, like 90%, you know, in their 20s or 30s. And that's not healthy. You know, we tend to age segregate, don't we?

[42:45] In fact, we kind of do that here at church, right? We have the family night where we get the younger people together, and then we have, you know, like there's card nights and different things, and that's fine.

[42:58] I'm not saying that that's wrong. It's good and healthy to kind of get together with people who are in the same season of life, right? That's good. But we shouldn't, we shouldn't do just that.

[43:08] We should build relationships with people of different ages. And that's healthy and healthy all around for both young and old. So admonishing one another, especially the older, the younger, to teach.

[43:24] And these are the things that ought to be taught, he says. You should teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children. It's interesting, this Greek word, it's not one of the typical words used for love.

[43:38] In fact, loving husbands and loving children are, loving husbands is one word. You should be a, almost like a husband lover is what it means, or a child lover.

[43:49] And really, it's kind of the same word used for friend, or being friendly with somebody, or fond. Or really, I think the best word in this context is affectionate.

[44:03] The Greek word here is phylanders for loving your husband and phylo technos for loving your children.

[44:17] It's these like compound words, we would call them in English. But, so, show affection. I think it's really what this is getting at is show affection to your husband.

[44:29] You know, in other places, it talks about husbands loving their wives, and it uses a completely different word. It uses the word agape, which is really more of a word of commitment, commit yourselves to the well-being of somebody else.

[44:43] And that word isn't used here. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't do that as a wife. You shouldn't have a commitment to your husband. You should. But here, what he's getting at is be affectionate toward your husband.

[44:56] Be affectionate toward your children. You know, I've seen some families where the marriage is kind of just a business partnership. It's treated that way. You know, you have your role and I have mine and we get things done and we raise the kids, but, you know, that's it.

[45:14] I remember I was a missionary in Vietnam and we lived in Saigon, a big city, and right across the, we kind of lived in an alleyway, and right across from the alleyway was a, was a, it was, everybody has a, in their home, the first floor is a shop everywhere.

[45:31] You have some kind of business on the first floor. You know, unless you're really wealthy, you don't, you don't just use your home just for living in. You have a business there. And so this, right across the street, they had a, a barber shop and a, the owner was a tailor, but he rented it out as a barber shop as well.

[45:50] But we practiced English and Vietnamese with the, the teenager that lived in that house. And he actually ended up trusting in Christ.

[46:01] It was really neat. We got an opportunity to share the gospel with him. But one of the things that he told me once was that he had never, in, in Vietnam especially, and I think this is common throughout Asia, is that there's not a lot of affection shown in public.

[46:16] But also, even in private, it's very rare for affection to be shown. And maybe, maybe this is changing, I don't know. But he said that he had never, in his whole life, seen his mom and dad kiss each other.

[46:30] In his whole life, he'd never seen them kiss each other. And I was, it was somewhat shocking to hear that. But, you know, that can, that can happen.

[46:42] And I don't think it's, I don't think it's healthy, right? Husbands and wives should show affection toward each other. You know, what this also reminds me of, has anybody seen the movie Fiddler on the Roof? What a great film, right?

[46:56] If you haven't seen Fiddler on the Roof, you are, you have to do yourself a service and go watch it. It's a great film. You know, I'm kind of hesitant to recommend movies because I always like, forget that there's some bad part in it.

[47:08] And I don't think there's anything bad in there, but I can't remember. So, kind of buyer beware. But there's so many great, just neat aspects to that movie. But does anybody remember the scene where Tevye, he talks about, everybody's talking about love, you know?

[47:25] And then he asks his wife, Golda, he says, Golda, do you love me? Does anybody remember that scene? It's just a, it's a really neat scene. And she says, what do you mean, you know?

[47:36] I've washed your clothes for 25 years and cooked your meals and bore your children and, you know, darned your socks and all these things. And he said, yes, yes, I know. But do you love me?

[47:49] And they go, they have this back and forth and it kind of ends really sweetly. She said, well, yes, you know, I've done all these things and she says, she finally says, she says, but do I love you?

[48:04] She says, I suppose I do. And he says, and I suppose I love you too. That's how it ends. It's very sweet. But, you know, in, in that culture, marriage was more of a business relationship, really.

[48:20] And there wasn't necessarily a lot of affection. But there ought to be. And that's the way that God designed families to work. You know, when parents show affection to one another, it's hard for us to understand how much security that gives to a child to see that their parents love each other.

[48:39] And I think I've said this quote before, but I saw a quote once that said, the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. And not just love in, you know, the intangible ways, but to be affectionate.

[48:55] You know, take opportunities to kiss your wife or to kiss your husband in front of your children, especially. Right? And, you know, Jamie and I find it fun.

[49:06] It kind of grosses, grosses them out sometimes. You're like, oh, mom, dad, don't do that. But we like to do it anyway. And take opportunities, you know.

[49:18] Sometimes after dinner, we'll just put on some music and dance in front of the kids so that they see that their mom and dad love each other, that they're affectionate. And then the same thing with kids.

[49:30] Be affectionate to your children. I've heard from so many people, there may even be people in this room, that they say, I don't ever remember my mom or my dad telling me that I love you.

[49:42] And it has a tremendous negative impact on kids never hearing those words. It's easy, especially, I think, for men to kind of avoid the affection and all that kind of stuff.

[49:54] Especially if you've had a lack of affection in your background, it can become a cycle. It's important to break those cycles and to show affection on a regular basis. Sometimes families are all about discipline, and discipline is so important.

[50:08] But discipline mixed with lots of affection, I think, is a great, the best way to raise a family. Show affection. We'll finish up with this last verse.

[50:22] To be discreet, chaste. And by the way, we'll take questions afterwards, so Keith, if you want to get a microphone ready. To be discreet, and that word discreet, I think, is a horrible translation. It just means, other translations say temperate or prudent, but these are words that we've looked at before.

[50:37] Chaste has to do with sexual morality and being sexually pure. So be faithful to your husband, basically. Be chaste. And even if you're not married, right, women ought to be chaste.

[50:49] The young women ought to be chaste. And he says this, homemakers, homemakers. Or other translations say keepers at home. In fact, another translation, the Weymouth translation, says this, industrious in their homes.

[51:05] And a lot of commentators think that that's kind of what he's getting at, is don't be kind of lazy in your house.

[51:16] Be industrious. Have an industrious household. And that's right. That's good. And I think, you know, there's this whole idea of just homemaking in general, right, has become more controversial in our culture.

[51:37] But, you know, what happens when you make the men the homemakers? Oh, man. Wow. You know, who really wants that? But how many people have warm memories of their mom making their house a home?

[51:52] Making it a warm place of security and warmth and comfort and beauty? And what happens if you put a man in charge of that?

[52:04] It's just not the same. Men and women are different. And so, you know, moms especially ought to teach their daughters how to be good homemakers, to be attentive to the things of the home.

[52:20] He uses the word good in my New King James it says good just by itself and that's a very generic term. I think the best translation is good-natured.

[52:32] Be good-natured. Obedient to husbands and that the word of God not be blasphemed.

[52:42] That part, being obedient to your husband is another very counter-cultural thing. The culture today, especially in this country, does not like that. In fact, I remember at the royal wedding, when was that, like five years ago, they had the royal wedding with, I forget their names, but King Charles' son, William and Kate, yeah.

[53:04] They got married and they used and they used the old school Anglican or what's the Church of England vows and in it it talks about being obedient to your husband. I remember a lot of commentators, oh, that's old school, you know, that's what they did back in the day.

[53:18] But this is God's order for the family that husbands would lead and that wives would follow. And really, to have a healthy marriage, it requires both.

[53:29] And I think it's easy to think that, well, I'm not one of those feminist women, right, that doesn't think that women should follow their husbands or be submissive.

[53:41] It's easy to think, well, I'm doing my part because I don't believe that. But is he saying, well, you shouldn't believe, you should just believe that you should be obedient to your husband or submissive to your husband.

[53:55] Is that what he's saying? No, actually do it. And when it comes to any kind of authority situation, it's always easy, it's easy to be submissive, it's easy to be obedient when you agree, right?

[54:11] But when does it really count? When you don't. That's when it's hard. That's when it really matters. And so, I've seen so many, oh, I'm submissive to my husband and all this, but then you see these open, flagrant things where they disagree with their husband in public.

[54:34] I've seen, I'll give this example, I don't know, maybe this is risky, but I've seen some women, they really believe strongly in head coverings, and their husband doesn't.

[54:46] I'm like, I don't think the Bible teaches that you should wear a head covering, but they do. And so, but it's a way for them to show submission. That's what many people believe that the head covering is, it's a way to show submission to their husband.

[55:00] So, they reject their husband's advice and what he wants in order to show that they're submissive to their husband. And I don't think that makes much sense, but that's what I see.

[55:13] I'm going to finish up, we'll take questions, but I want to finish up with a poem. Is that all right? And this goes back to the home and being a homemaker. I love the word homemaker. It's just, making a home is one of the most important things that anyone can do, making a home.

[55:33] Does anybody have, and I know not everybody has fond memories of home. Some people, their memories of home are horrid. But for many people who had good parents, or even just like decent parents, have so many great memories of home.

[55:48] Being a child in a home, even if you didn't have a lot, right? Even if you didn't have a great huge house, even if it was chilly in the winter sometimes. These great memories of home.

[56:02] So here's a poem, this is by Mrs. S.T. Perry, I don't know who that is, but it says, the title of this is, Are All the Children In? The darkness falls, the wind is high, dense black clouds fill the western sky.

[56:20] The storm will soon begin. The thunders roar, the lightnings flash, I hear the great round raindrops dash.

[56:31] Are all the children in? They're coming softly to my side, their forms within my arms I hide. No other arms as sure.

[56:42] The storm may rage with fury wild, with trusting faith, each little child, with mother, feels secure. But future days are drawing near.

[56:54] They'll go from this warm shelter here, out in the world's wide, wild din. The rain will fall, the cold winds blow.

[57:05] I'll sit alone, and long to know, are all the children in? That is a poem that speaks to the safety of a home.

[57:18] And I love the illustration, right, because it speaks of the physical safety from the storm outside. But a home is more than that, isn't it? It's a safety from the wild din of the world.

[57:31] The world is a nutty place, isn't it? There's all kinds of nonsense going on out there. But the home can be a safe place for our kids, a place of refuge from a storm, and not just the physical storm, but the moral storm, what's going on out there in the world, a place where kids can be safe, they can learn without fear of danger.

[57:59] And we as parents, especially those of us with children still at home, can provide that safe place, that shelter from the storm, not just the physical storms, but the storms of life, all the wild things going on in the world that we don't want our kids to be exposed to.

[58:18] Eventually they will, won't they? Eventually they will have to go out. But until that time, we can create that safe place. And moms, especially, are a huge part of making that happen.

[58:33] We'll take some time to have any comments or questions that you might have. All right, up here.

[58:53] I used to be involved in a prison ministry, and this really shines out. when you start talking about mothers, those men just, their hearts just go out.

[59:06] Yeah. The mothers love. Yeah. They don't do that with their dads. Yeah, it's true. So, you know, you know, it's almost, I've noticed, more natural, I guess, maybe, a woman's affection for her children, a mom's affection for her children.

[59:24] Part of it, I think, is, you know, she carries them through those nine months. It's just the way that God designed women. Men, I think, have to work at it maybe harder. In fact, you know, when men leave a home, abandon their children, it's disappointing.

[59:39] But when a woman leaves a home, abandons her children, it is utterly shocking, isn't it? Utterly shocking when something like that happens. And it doesn't happen nearly as much as it does with men.

[59:52] Unfortunately, we have an epidemic of fathers leaving and sometimes moms left behind to care for the kids, and it's difficult. Anything else?

[60:05] Come on. I'd love to hear from somebody else. thoughts or questions? I won't put too much pressure on.

[60:19] A few more. All right. We'll end there then. Did everybody enjoy that? I enjoyed going through it. Let's end with a word of prayer.

[60:29] Father, thank you so much for your design. You created us all different. You created the idea of men and women and the roles that we have.

[60:43] You gave us this scripture that we should give attention to, that you intend for us to understand. Father, continue to work in us to grow up, to not just live our lives by rules and regulations, but to have wisdom, to know you, to live our lives in you.

[61:01] And especially as, whether it's older men or younger men, older women, and older and younger women, to take life seriously, to honor you in everything that we do, to live life that is well-lived, that's honoring to you, and that is a reflection of who you are in us.

[61:24] We ask all these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Thanks, everybody. Dismissed. Dismissed.